Paid off--for real

Funny. This is an excerpt from a post I wrote in July 2008:

"I had my 32 week appointment today, and things are still looking great. Nothing new to report--just that everything is looking like it should! The big news, though, is that we wrote out the last check this morning, so our baby is now paid off! (Well, at least the part for getting the baby here; I know we'll be paying for him in other ways for the rest of our lives!)

Our insurance is a little different and required us to pay everything upfront by the end of the 7th month of pregnancy. This has made it a little (well, a lot) tight for the past few months, but then it's nice to think that we won't be getting bills after the baby is born. It's just crazy to think that we've already paid thousands of dollars for this little guy, and he's not even here yet! Maybe that will make us appreciate him more?"

Even more funny is this post I wrote a few months later in November 2008 (titled 'The Bill'):

NICU Bed & Services: $34,318.59
Pharmacy: $8,237.21
Medical Supplies: $14,932.75
Lab Work: $3,896.98
Radiology: $1,704.40
Respiratory: $5,900.76
Cardiologist: $1,622.88
Neonatologist: $14,307.00

Total for 18 day stay in NICU: $84,920.57
(that's $196.57 per hour, around the clock!!!)

Having a healthy (& wireless) baby: Priceless

Knowing all of this will help you more fully appreciate what I'm about to tell you. We just made the final payment on our portion of Tucker's NICU bills. Hallelujah! No more medical bills! No more monthly payments! It's been a long time coming, and now that he's 14 months old, we can finally say we have him paid off. (for now.....hopefully I'm not jinxing us by saying this...!)

We're celebrating by eating ice cream (and dorachos...in Curt's case). What a wonderful day!

A Special Anniversary

October 7th will always hold a special place in our hearts. It was this day last year that we finally got to bring our sweet baby boy home from the hospital. (For more pictures and to read the post from that day, click here.)

And here he is today by comparison:

Somehow it seemed longer this year--the 18 days from his birthday until now. It's hard to believe he was really in the NICU that long. Looking back and remembering all that was going on a year ago, I am so grateful to be where we're at now. As much as I tried to put on a happy face and have a positive attitude back then, it was HARD. Not just having him in the NICU, but everything else that continued going on even after he came home. (Having him on oxygen, having to take him in for weight checks, worrying about his low iron and the possibility of a blood transfusion, having to fortify half of his feedings, struggling with nursing & feeding him in general, etc, etc)

I know all of those things really aren't THAT big of a deal, considering the other kinds of things people go through, but for me, dealing with Tucker's health has been the biggest trial of my life (so far...). It's nice to look back, now that it's a year later, and reflect on the things I've learned. I want to put them in writing, for my own sake, and maybe to help someone else in some way. (I'll apologize now for the long length of this post...)

I've learned the Lord has a plan for each of us, and there are certain things we need to go through to teach us certain lessons we wouldn't be able to learn any other way. One of the things Curt & I needed to learn through all of Tucker's health struggles was patience. (In every blessing Tucker received, it was said that part of the reason for his struggles was to teach his parents patience.) I had to learn to have patience in the Lord's timing, and in His will--especially when there was nothing I could do. At all other times in my life when I've gone through struggles, there's always been something I could personally do to help the situation. With Tucker, however, I couldn't do anything to help him; I couldn't help him learn to eat and breathe on his own, I couldn't take away the infection in his lungs, I couldn't make him gain weight. I had to learn to trust in the Lord completely, and not in myself or my abilities.

I've learned the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. I remember one night in particular, after Tucker had been home for a few weeks, when we couldn't get him to eat--at all. We were going in for weight checks every few days, and we were watching closely for any signs of anemia...which would lead to a blood transfusion. He had to gain weight to prove he was doing okay and in order to get off his oxygen. We were stressed to the max--worried sick that he wouldn't eat, and certain that something was wrong. After staying up all night with him, I remember Curt & I praying, pleading with the Lord. We explained that we'd done all we could do, and we didn't know if we could handle anything more, physically or emotionally. Nothing drastic changed with Tucker's eating habits, but somehow he still gained weight at his next weight check, and he ended up getting off the oxygen just a few days later. I have a strong testimony that the Lord won't give us more than we can handle. He might push us to our very limits, but never beyond our abilities.

I've learned that it's okay to show my imperfections. One of the things that helped me most as I've struggled with these (and other) trials, was hearing other peoples' stories of their own struggles. It helped to know that others had a hard time with things too--that I wasn't the only one having a hard time. Sometimes I think we feel like we have to put on a show and pretend that everything is just fine, when in reality it's not. I'm learning that it's okay to let on when things are hard, to let others see that we're not perfect, and then to accept help from others.

I've learned the Lord blesses us and takes care of us temporally when we're doing our best to live righteously. Financially, I don't know how we've made it this far. Tucker's medical bills have been a huge strain on us (yes, we're still paying him off...), and yet we're still making it. Somehow Curt is able to make enough money to support us, and I'm able to be a stay-at-home mom. (Remember, Curt is self employed, so we're never quite sure where our money is going to come from...) The Lord has truly blessed us.

And above all else, I've learned the Lord knows us and loves us personally, and that the Atonement isn't just to take away our sins, but to help us in our struggles and sorrows.

I can honestly (yet still timidly...) say that I'm grateful for everything we've gone through with Tucker. It's been a roller coaster of a journey, but I hope I've come out a better person in the end.

I also want to thank everyone for all the support we've received--through comments on the blog, through emails and words of comfort, and through genuine friendship and love. We (Curt, myself, and Tucker) are so blessed. It's through the love from others that we are able to feel the Lord's love.

Will it ever end???

This is the stack of bills we've gotten since Tucker was born...and they're STILL coming!!! Just this morning I had to call and fight with our insurance over two new bills that came yesterday. Will it ever end?! Who would've thought such a small thing could be so expensive? It's just a good thing Tucker is so cute...!

Even though paying for him is a pain, I sure do love my little man! (This was us having fun with the camera while we were alone at home today!)

THE BILL

NICU Bed & Services: $34,318.59
Pharmacy: $8,237.21
Medical Supplies: $14,932.75
Lab Work: $3,896.98
Radiology: $1,704.40
Respiratory: $5,900.76
Cardiologist: $1,622.88
Neonatologist: $14,307.00

Total for 18 day stay in NICU: $84,920.57
(that's $196.57 per hour, around the clock!!!)

Having a healthy (& wireless) baby: Priceless

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's insurance. (minus our deductible...!)

Tucker's Homecoming

This was Tucker's reaction when the doctor made the announcement that he could finally come home today--it was literally minutes after finding out we could take him home. Isn't this smile precious?! We were so excited that we caught it on camera!


After a fun night of "rooming in" at the hospital and only 2 1/2 hours of sleep (apparently Tucker is nocturnal because he was awake almost the whole night!), we weren't sure what to expect for today. He had to gain weight to be able to come home, and at his first weigh-in he had lost weight. So the doctor had us hang out all morning and then re-weighed him this afternoon after eating some more. Thankfully he gained back the weight he had lost, plus 2 grams, and it was enough for him to be able to come home! Finally--after 18 days in the NICU, we were able to bring our little boy home!! We were obviously overjoyed and a little in shock; it seemed like this day would never come!

Our little family--going home together at last!

Outside for the first time

Welcome Home Tucker!!!

Crashing on the couch--what a big day!
(Isn't his little outfit SO cute?!)

He came home with oxygen and a monitor to measure the oxygen saturation in his blood. The cords will be a pain to deal with, but it's totally worth it to have him home! He is at the lowest oxygen level possible (1/32 of a liter), so hopefully it won't last for too long, but the doctor said to plan on two weeks to a month. Also, we have to fortify half of his feedings, so I will be breastfeeding half of the time, then bottle feeding fortified breast milk the other half. It's still not quite how we imagined bringing him home, but again, we are willing to do whatever it takes just to have him here with us.

Thank you so much to everyone for all of your loving support and prayers in our behalf. We have been strengthened by your comments and words of encouragement. We know it won't quite be "smooth sailing" from here on out, but we're hoping to worst is behind us!

We love little Tucker, and we are SO happy to finally have him home!

Rooming In

We are at the hospital right now as we write this--and we have Tucker in a room with us all by ourselves. It's such a weird feeling! The nurses are standing by, ready to help us if we need it, but other than that, we are on our own. This will be our first full night with Tucker, and we're a little nervous! He's hooked up to the oxygen we'll take home with us, so everything is how it will be when we're at home.

After all the measuring and time schedules of the NICU, we're not quite sure what to do with ourselves now that there's no structure! They used to have to weigh Tucker before and after breastfeeding to see how much he got, and if he didn't get his minimum amount, then we had to supplement with a bottle of breast milk. They had him on a pretty strict three-hour feeding schedule, and they changed his diaper every two hours. Now that we're on our own, we don't have to do any of these things. I thought it would be a relief, but it's kind of stressing me out instead. How do we know if he's getting enough food now? Granted, we know that he'll eat as much as he wants and needs...but it's hard not to put a number with it when we have been so number-driven for so long. I think it will be much less stressful after we finally get home because if he loses weight tonight instead of gaining weight, then he can't go home. So we're really wanting him to eat as much as possible so that he's sure to gain weight. No pressure!

It seems to be going well so far, but we'll see how the rest of the night plays out. We're not expecting to get much sleep, and I'm sure we won't be disappointed! :)

Here is Tucker during his carseat test; they had to put him in his carseat and monitor him for an hour to make sure he handled it well. After a few squirms and grunts at the start, he slept the rest of the time, and he passed with flying colors. Hooray! He looked so cute in his carseat, but it made us realize how big he is! We had it set at the smallest setting, but we had to move it up because he was already too big!


Here is Curt changing his very first diaper. He's been holding out the whole time Tucker has been in the NICU--he said he didn't want to change a diaper until he absolutely had to!

Do We Dare Say It?!

We're not making any formal announcements or anything...but rumor has it that Tucker MIGHT be coming home with us on Tuesday!!! He did so well with his energy level and feedings yesterday that they had us continue today...and he did awesome! His energy level was still high, and he did the best feedings he has ever done! To put it in perspective, the most he had ever been able to get from breastfeeding before was 48 mL (and that was on a good day), but today he consistently got in the 70's! Hooray! It was a huge improvement, and it's like everything finally clicked! He did so good, and we are so proud with him!

So as long as everything continues to go well through the night, and as long as he doesn't lose too much weight from today, he will probably come home on Tuesday morning! They will have us stay in a special room with him tomorrow night all by ourselves to make sure everything goes well, and then IF everything looks okay, they'll send him home with us the next morning! Now we've had our hopes dashed many times before, so we're not planning on this for sure, but things are looking great, so we're keeping our fingers crossed! It's hard to believe the end might really be in sight! He will definitely be coming home on oxygen, but it will be very low levels, so hopefully he can get off it soon.

Another big thing that happened today is that his umbilical cord scab fell off! So now that that's gone, and his circumcision is almost healed, we don't have to worry about those things when he comes home. I guess that's one advantage to him being in the NICU for so long!

Here are today's pictures:

His pooping face!

Father-Son time

More Progress = More Time at the Hospital

Today was a much better day, and we made a lot of progress! The doctor felt like Tucker had a lot more energy today, so we tried every feeding as a nipple feeding. So basically we camped out at the hospital and I breastfed him for every feeding throughout the day. He actually did really well, and he improved with each feeding--hooray! I feel like he finally has the energy to suck with more force and get more milk out at once. We still had to supplement with a bottle for him to get his minimum requirement, but he did really well and had more energy than we expected him to. Now we'll just have to see how much energy he has tomorrow--that will tell if we pushed him too hard today or not.

So things are looking good, and the doctor even mentioned the possibility of him coming home in a few days. We've learned from experience not to get our hearts set on anything yet, though, so we'll just see how it goes. It's exciting to think we're getting closer to the end!

It was really nice to have my mom in town today; she went grocery shopping for us since we didn't have time, and she filled our fridge with enough food to last us the next few days. Moms are wonderful! Also, one of the perks of living in Utah is that the nurses turned on general conference in the NICU for the afternoon session, so we were able to at least watch a little bit of it while we were busy feeding Tucker.

It was a long day, and we're exhausted, so sorry for the short, disjointed post. Here are a few cute pictures from today:

2 Weeks

I can't believe Tucker is two weeks old! He has grown and changed so much already, and we hope he doesn't change too much more before coming home--we still want to bring home a little newborn! That might not happen, though, because he gained 4 oz yesterday alone! The fortified milk is doing it's job, and the doctor was very pleased to see his weight gain. He's guessing it will still be a few more days of fortified milk and weight gain before Tucker is ready to move to all nipple feeds, but it's going well so far.

Sadly, Tucker had a hard day today. To celebrate his two-week birthday, he was circumcised, and it was hard on him. Poor guy! He wouldn't eat from me all day, and they had to do most of his feedings through the feeding tube--he was just too upset and tired. Who could blame him? The good thing is that this all happened while he's still in the hospital, so hopefully he'll be able to recover more easily with the extra support. We're hoping he'll be feeling much better tomorrow. The worst should hopefully be over now!

Also, to celebrate his two-week birthday, he had some visitors! Last night his uncle Chad came to help Curt give him another blessing. Tucker loved seeing Chad, even though he was asleep for most of it.


And this afternoon my parents came in town! At first only my dad was going to be able to come, but my mom surprised me and came out too! We spent the evening with them at the hospital and going out to eat. It was fun to see my parents with Tucker--they loved him, and he loved them. My mom was here when he was born, but she only got to see him a few times when he was first in the NICU, so it was nice for her to be able to see and hold him now. It was my dad's first time seeing him, and it was fun to watch. Tucker is my parent's first grandchild, so he's already the favorite! :)

The Love of My Life

I have never loved Curt more than I do now. He has been such a support throughout this whole ordeal, and I really don't think I could do it without him. Not only has he had to deal with everything going on with Tucker, but he's also had to balance that with work and school...and supporting an emotional wife. He is so amazing! He has been so strong, and when I've felt like I've hit my breaking point, he has been right there to love me and help me through it. He has supported me in every way possible! He wakes up with me in the middle of the night to help me pump, he helps me figure out my pumping schedule when things change with Tucker's feedings, he comes to help with every feeding that his schedule allows, he encourages me to rest and relax when I can, he helps make dinner every night, he posts on the blog when I'm too tired or sad, etc, etc, etc. I am just so grateful for him, and I want everyone to know how wonderful he is! He is such a loving and supportive husband and dad, and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I love to watch him with Tucker--he is so sweet and loving, and I know he is going to be the best dad ever. Tucker and I are so lucky to have him in our lives!


Things with Tucker are about the same. He had more energy today than yesterday, and his feedings went better. We still have some work to do, but we feel like we're on the upward slope. He is just so cute, and we love him so much!

A classic Tucker look :)

Patience is a Virtue...

...that apparently we're still needing to learn! Long story short--Tucker will be in the NICU for probably another week. They tried to decrease his oxygen and increase the number of breastfeedings yesterday, and he didn't do so well. After re-evaluating this morning, the doctors decided to try working on just one thing at a time. Since we can take him home on oxygen if needed, but we can't take him home if he's not eating on his own, they decided to just work on the feedings. So for now they're giving him all the oxygen he needs so that he can build up his energy.

After seeing how long it's taking for Tucker to improve, the doctor said that he must have been more sick when he was born than we originally thought, so it's just taking his body a lot longer to recover than we all expected. His infection is gone and he's "healthy" now, but he just needs a lot more energy to be able to finish getting better. Yesterday when they dropped his oxygen and had us breastfeed him more, he got significantly worse with each feeding. Not only was he getting less milk, but he would fall asleep more quickly, and then he eventually wouldn't even latch on at all. This morning at his early feeding, he wouldn't take anything, even after trying for a full 30 minutes. He just got too exhausted to work at it.

In order to give him more calories to have the energy he needs, they are going to fortify my milk when they give it to him through the feeding tube and bottle. So one in every three feedings will be through the feeding tube, one in three will be from a bottle, and one in three will be breastfeeding straight from me. And now they're just giving him whatever oxygen he needs, so he won't have to work so hard to breathe on his own. Hopefully doing things this way will help him get his energy level back up.

As expected, it was really hard to hear this news and find out that we have yet another week of pumping and living at the hospital. At times I don't know how much longer I can take it, but I know we're not given more than we can handle, so I'm sure we'll be okay. (And so many people have dealt with so much more than this!) It's just hard to watch Tucker struggle and not be able to do anything to help him. It's given us a small insight into how we think Heavenly Father must feel--when He watches us struggle with things and helps us as much as we can, but ultimately He has to let us learn and do it on our own.

Anyway, as hard as it is, we think this will be best for Tucker. We can definitely tell a difference when he doesn't have as much energy--he sleeps all the time and just isn't himself. So even if it takes some time, we want him to be strong and healthy. And it would be sad to take him home on oxygen, but if that will help him come home sooner, we will be more than willing to deal with it. It's just so hard that he was full-term, and he looks so big and healthy, and yet he isn't strong enough to come home yet! It's helping us learn that we are definitely not the ones in control.

This is what Tucker does all day when he doesn't have energy:

And this is what he does with his lips when he's too tired to eat:
(It's impossible to open his mouth for anything!)

But we still love him more than anything!

King of the NICU!!

Tucker is now the eldest of the babies in the NICU, he is also the biggest (both in height and weight), the loudest, the cutest, the only one born at that hospital (the rest are transfers), and I'm sure he could beat up any of the other babies (provide he has his oxygen). Since he is "the king" the nurses even dressed him in a special outfit today.


Today was Tuckers 11th day in the NICU which is sad because the doctors told us at the start that they didn't think he would be more than 7-10 days. He is just getting better on his own schedule. (He is the king.) It just seems to take a lot out of him learning to breathe on his own, and feed on his own, and the combination of the two, make for one tired baby. It seems like we will take 3 steps forward and 1 step back, but at least we are making progress in the long run. Today seemed to be one of those days where everything was a little harder for him and he didn't make as much progress as yesterday, so we are all hoping and praying for a good day tomorrow.

Right now the only things keeping him from coming home are his feedings and his breathing. He needs to be able to get enough milk on his own without assistance from the feeding tube, and he needs to be able to sustain a good level of oxygen saturation without assistance. It's kind of hard because he looks and seems so healthy but we can't take him home yet, and it looks like it will still be a few days. I think he just enjoys being king of the NICU and getting so much attention.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, support, and words of encouragement, it has really helped our little family during this tough time.

Tuckered

This was our night last night from 6:30 pm to 9:30 am:

6:30 - Drive to hospital and scrub in (5 minutes of scrubbing is mandatory in NICU)
7:00-7:30 - Feed Tucker
7:30-8:30 - Hold Tucker
8:30 - Drive home
9:00 - Pump
11:00 - Pump
11:30-12:15 - Sleep
12:30 - Drive to hospital and scrub in
1:00-1:30 - Feed Tucker
1:45 - Pump at hospital
2:00 - Drive home
2:15-4:00 - Sleep
4:00 - Pump
4:30-6:00 - Sleep
6:00-6:30 - Get ready
6:30 - Drive to hospital & scrub in
7:00-7:30 - Feed Tucker
7:30-9:00 - Hold Tucker
9:00 - Pump at hospital
9:30 - Drive home

Needless to say, it was a very short night with little sleep, so we decided not to do the 1:00 am feeding anymore. I know this schedule is more what it will be like when Tucker comes home, but all the nurses keep telling us to stay home and sleep as much as we can right now. We still get up every 3 hours to pump, but that's easier than driving to the hospital in the middle of the night! Surprisingly, our bodies are getting used to the short segments of sleep, and we're feeling much less sleep-deprived than we did a week ago. Hopefully this is helping us prepare for the real thing!

Anyway, there's not much new to report on Tucker today. We're still breastfeeding for every other feeding, and he's doing much better now that he's getting a little more milk through the feeding tube. He had a lot more energy today than he did yesterday, so hopefully he's getting stronger so that he can get better soon! The doctor said we'll probably keep him breastfeeding for every other feeding for 2-3 more days before trying to move it up again. Also, Tucker is still struggling with getting off the last little bit of oxygen. He's at 1/2 for air flow and 27% for oxygen saturation; we need him to be at room air, which would be zero air flow and 21% oxygen saturation. The doctor is hoping we can get him off in the next few days, but he said there is the possibility that we might need to bring him home on a little bit of oxygen. We will take him however we can get him, so that wouldn't bother us!

So that's about it. He's still doing well and looking as cute as ever! We just need to give him a little time to build up his strength, and then hopefully we can get him ready to come home.

Here are some more cute pictures and another video for your enjoyment:
(These are mostly for the benefit of the grandparents who want to see as much of him as they can ... and for us because we can only see him at the hospital.)

Sleeping Like A Baby

So we need to remember that any day after a fantastic day just isn't going to be as good. Such was today.

Tucker did so good yesterday that he wore himself out and didn't have as much energy today. Since yesterday was his first time breastfeeding for every feeding, (and since they also decreased his oxygen at the same time), he used up all of his energy, so he was extremely tired today. Any time we tried to breastfeed him, he'd do good for the first half, but then he would fall into a dead sleep and wouldn't wake up for anything to finish. (and believe me, we tried everything!) So because of this, he was only getting half as much food as he needs, so they had to put a feeding tube back in, and they went back to only letting us breastfeed him for every other feeding. We're of course sad about this, but we could tell that he was exhausted, so hopefully this will help him; we don't want to push him too hard that he stops progressing altogether.

The good news is that this new feeding tube goes through his nose, which sounds terrible, but they say it's much better for the babies. This way it also doesn't interfere with the breastfeeding. We're hoping he just needs this little boost to catch up and that they'll let us return to more breastfeeding soon. After putting the tube in this afternoon, he did much better breastfeeding tonight, so it's looking good so far! We decided to do the 1:00 am feeding tonight (instead of having the nurses feed him a bottle), so we'll see how that goes too. The other good news is that they moved his oxygen down a little more today, and he's doing well so far. They were hoping to turn it down even a little more later tonight also.

We're finding that Tucker definitely likes to do things his way, and he doesn't like other people telling him what to do. So we just have to patient and go by his schedule! :)

Big Yawn!

Curt thinks he's plotting his next dirty diaper...
(notice that he does have Pooh on his arm!)

Going Wireless

Today was a fantastic day, especially compared to yesterday! When we came in for the first 7:30 am feeding, Tucker was almost completely wireless! He finished his antibiotics and IV nutrition fluids, so they took out his PICC line (the major IV in his head). Hooray! That eliminated about 10 wires! Also, just before we came in, he had pulled out the feeding tube in his mouth, so the nurse left it out to see if it would make the breastfeeding easier. Holy cow--it made a huge difference, and he ate so much better! (He was able to get a lot more milk.) So now he only has two main wires: one for his oxygen, and one measuring his respiratory rate & heart rate.

When the doctor came in she looked him over and talked with us a little to try to figure out why he had been throwing up after he ate. I don't know what she finally concluded, but she decided to let him eat "ad lib" today--meaning he determined when and how much he ate and every feeding came from me or a bottle. So Curt and I stayed at the hospital pretty much the whole day starting at 7:30 am (leaving only to get something to eat), and we're still here now waiting for him to wake up and let us know when he's hungry again. I have done every feeding he's had today, and it has gotten better with each one. (And he hasn't thrown up again!)

So it has been a long day, but it has been a wonderful day! It has been so nice to spend the whole day with him and get to know him better. He is just so cute, and we finally feel like we're his parents and that he's a real part of our family. We love him so much!

Other improvements are that he was moved out of the incubator into an open crib (pictured below), and he's holding his temperature perfectly on his own. They've also decreased his oxygen quite a bit today, and he's doing pretty well with it. He's just doing so well overall! I don't know if we dare say it, but the end might just possibly be in sight! As the doctor was leaving this morning she said that we better make sure we have everything ready at home because the time is getting close!!!

Here are some cute pictures, and a short little video of him sneezing! He's just so cute, and we're so grateful to have him in our lives!

One Week Down...One Week to Go...

First off, I can't believe Tucker is already a week old! In some ways the whole labor and delivery feels like it was forever ago, and it feels like we've been making daily visits to the hospital for a month now, but then I look at Tucker, and I can't believe he's already a week old! I must admit, it is kind of sad. I never imagined that we'd be celebrating his one-week birthday with him still in the hospital, but that's okay. Life is full of surprises I guess, and it never goes quite like you plan.

So today was not as good of a day. Tucker started spitting up/throwing up after some of his feedings, and when the doctor heard about it, he wasn't too excited. We don't know if he's just getting extra air in his stomach now or if it's a little bug or something, but if it continues happening they might have to take away all of his feedings for a little while. I asked the doctor if he had any idea of how much longer before Tucker can go home, and he said that before he found out about him throwing up, he was thinking 2-3 more days, but now with this added into the equation, it might be up to another week. He said to probably plan on another week, just to be safe. I'm trying to have a positive attitude about it, but it's hard for me today. I guess I just got my hopes up too high that he would come home sooner. But what's another week now, right? We've already made it through one, and we don't want him to come home until he's healthy, so we can make it through one more if that's what it takes. We'll just have to see what happens.

Other than that, things are still looking pretty good. They kept his oxygen and air levels the same today just to give him a little more time to adjust, but he finishes his antibiotics tonight and might get to have his PICC line removed tomorrow! (if this throwing up thing doesn't cause more problems...) They should be able to move his oxygen levels down tomorrow which would mean a new type of oxygen tube in his nose (one that doesn't blow as much air); this would allow for his feeding tube to go up through his nose instead of in his mouth (I guess the nose is more common and doesn't bother the babies as much), which would help with the breastfeeding. So we have the potential for tomorrow to be a great day! Let's all keep our fingers crossed...

As for his one-week-old stats: he is now weighing in at 8 lbs even, and the nurses say he's almost grown out of the newborn-sized diapers already. Can you believe it?! By the time we bring him home, he's going to be a chunk! That's okay, because it means he's healthy and growing, but I have a lot of newborn-sized diapers at home and a lot of cute little outfits I was hoping to dress him in (that I don't think he's going to fit in anymore)... Oh well--we'd rather have a big healthy baby.

Tucker is waving hi to everyone :)

Yawning

As for me, I am feeling almost back to my normal pre-pregnant self. I have been very blessed, and my body has healed quickly and easily. It's hard to believe that I was an extremely pregnant lady just one week ago! My favorite thing about not being pregnant anymore? I sleep so much better, and I can sleep on my stomach again! I'm back down to my normal two pillows instead of five! (And it's also really nice to be able to bend down to get things off the floor and also get dressed like a normal person again!) :)

More Progress

Today I did Tucker's 7:30 am, 1:30 pm, and 7:30 pm feedings, and he got better with each one. It's hard with his nasal cannulus and feeding tube going down his throat, so he's not getting as much milk as we'd like, but he definitely is getting the concept of breastfeeding down. It's going as well as can be expected with all of the obstacles in the way! (tubes, cords, first-time baby and first-time mom, etc.)

Also, the doctor called me with Tucker's update today because she wasn't in when I was there. The very first thing she said is that he's doing really well! The pressure in his lungs is improving, so he should be able to wean off the oxygen more quickly now. They moved him down to a level 2 for air flow, and they decreased his oxygen saturation by 10%; apparently it's a big deal that they did both at the same time, and he responded well. He is pretty much holding his temperature on his own now, which is great, and they could move him into an open crib but will keep him in the incubator for now just to make it easier with all of his wires and tubes. His last day of antibiotics is tomorrow (as long as everything keeps going well), and they hope to let me start doing every feeding starting tomorrow (they just didn't want to introduce too many things at once today). So everything is looking great! It will probably still be a few more days before he can come home, and we probably won't know until the last second when it will be for sure. We're just trying to have patience and not get our hopes up too soon.

Here are some cute pictures from today:


And here are two cute gifts that Tucker got today--a way cute T-Rex shirt from Curt's aunt, and a fun bath towel from Dave & Hailey. Apparently we have a monster already! :)

Front

Back

Tonight was the season premiere of "The Office," and Dave & Hailey drove down to join us for the special occasion. It was so fun to spend time with them, and it's so crazy to think that we have a baby now! We followed our tradition of getting a Papa Murphy's pizza like we used to do every week when we'd watch "The Office" when we all lived in the same complex. It was so fun and good to do something besides just going to the hospital. We can't wait for Tucker to come home so that we can spend time with him outside of the hospital!