Hudson Michael Smith
March 1, 2018
5 lbs 3 oz, 18 inches
9:36 pm
Last Wednesday, Feb 28th, I had the urge to get a few extra things done in preparation for the baby—things like grocery shopping and stocking up on foods that would be good to have on hand for the kids, doing laundry a day earlier than normal, filling up the car with gas, etc. Small things that I wouldn’t normally do unless I knew the baby was coming soon, but which I felt would be good to do that day, for whatever reason. I was completely wiped out after going grocery shopping that morning, so when I got home, I put a show on for Bronco and collapsed with him on the couch for a nice one hour nap—something I very rarely do. Also that day I started feeling a little different; I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly, but I told Curt I was starting to feel differently and that I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby came soon.
That night Curt stayed up late working in the basement (he was starting his two busiest weeks of work out of the year...and he worked in the basement every night after the kids were in bed), and I hung out with him in his office, working on some church primary things. There was something for cub scouts that needed to get done that night, and I had to have help from the other bishopric counselor, Gianni, to get it done. I ended up being on the phone with Gianni at 10:00 that night, trying to get it all figured out, and while I was on the phone with him, I started having some real (as opposed to Braxton Hicks) contractions. I think we were on the phone for about 30 minutes? And I had probably 3-4 contractions during that time. As soon as I got off the phone, I told Curt I was having a few contractions, and we laughed about the fact that I was 37 weeks 3 days—exactly as far along as I was when I went into labor with both Calvin & Bronco. And we laughed about the fact that it was *almost* March 1st (2 hrs away)—which was my goal, to make it to March. (And funny—Curt’s Mom had just texted me a half hour earlier, saying it was 2.5 hrs to March and that it looked like we were going to make it!) So Curt & I talked for a few minutes about how crazy it would be to go into labor then, but then he had to get back to work. I tried to play it off a little, because he had quite a few things going on the next two days, and I didn’t want to stress him out, but I had a feeling deep down that this was going to be it. I downloaded an app to start keeping track of my contractions, just to make me feel better.
The last belly picture I took at 37 weeks--4 days before he was born:
I went up to bed pretty soon after that, and I was having contractions (pretty mild, but yet still “real”) about every 10-15 minutes. I fell asleep for awhile, and then woke up a little after 1:00 when Curt came to bed. We talked for a few minutes, and then he fell asleep, but I never did. My contractions started picking up at that point, 8 minutes apart, then 7, and then 5-6 minutes apart. And that’s where I stood for the next two hours—contractions every 5-6 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds to a minute in length, and picking up in intensity. I debated about when to wake Curt up—I wanted him to be able to get as much sleep as possible since he had a lot of late work nights ahead of him. The contractions weren’t coming any closer together yet, but when I thought about the time it would take to get Curt’s parents up here and get to the hospital, I figured we should probably start that process fairly soon.
At 3:30 Curt rolled over and asked how I was doing, and I told him I was having pretty regular contractions and that I thought it was about time to call his parents and get to the hospital. He said he needed to get in the shower to wake up more so we could figure out the details. Strangely enough, when Curt got into the shower, my contractions started slowing down, and I didn’t have a single one for fifteen minutes. When I told him this after he got out of the shower, we decided to lay down for a few more minutes and see what happened. After that, they started slowing down to every 10 minutes, then every 15-20 minutes. So Curt fell back asleep and I slept off and on between contractions, still timing them on my phone.
When the boys woke up at 6:30, the contractions started picking up again—anywhere from every 2 to 8 minutes for the next hour. I figured they’d continue picking up and we’d be heading to the hospital soon, so we called and texted our families and let them know what was going on and that the baby would most likely be coming that day. At this point I was glad everything had slowed down so Curt could get more sleep and so that we didn’t have to call family in the middle of the night. I was also glad we got to see the boys—I was sad in the middle of the night when I thought I wouldn’t be able to see them before we headed out. The boys were SUPER excited when we told them I was in labor!! Curt got the boys breakfast and everything so I didn’t have to worry about it as I was trying to get ready while having contractions.
I already had my 37 week OB appt scheduled for that morning at 9:40, so we figured I would plan on going to that appt, unless things picked up and we needed to go to the hospital sooner. Curt made some calls and rearranged some of his plans for the day so he could go to the appt with me and work from home the whole day so he could be ready to go to the hospital whenever.
Curt took all the kids to school...and then my contractions slowed down again, to every 15-20 minutes. I started getting a little depressed at this point. What was wrong with my body?! It knew how to do this, so why wasn’t it doing it faster? The time I was
in labor with Bronco was 4.5 hours—from the time of my first contraction to the time he was born. I didn’t expect it to go THAT fast again, but I figured it would still happen fairly quickly. By the time I got to my OB appt I was hardly having any contractions at all. I think I maybe had 3 total while we were there. (I was so frustrated/depressed about it at that point that I stopped keeping track of them, because it was stressing me out and making me upset.)
I told Dr. Harrison that I was up all night with contractions but that they had slowed down—and when she checked me I was dilated 3 cm and 70% effaced. (At my OB appt one week before, I was dilated 1 cm and 65% effaced.) So at least I had made progress!! (I was going to be so sad if I hadn’t progressed at all...!) She talked with me about the ultrasounds and NST’s I had had in the last week (they were monitoring me & the baby closely since he was measuring 4 weeks behind), and she said that if everything continued to look good, she would induce me on Sunday the 11th (39 weeks)...if I was still pregnant. But then she said she would probably just see me sometime that weekend at the hospital, based on my contractions and everything. ;)
The rest of the day I continued to have contractions off and on. Sometimes they would pick up and be consistent for an hour, and then they would taper off again. Whenever I had them, however, they were the stop-me-in-my-tracks-and-try-to-breathe-through-them kind of contractions. The funniest was probably when I went to Hobby Lobby to get something real fast while Bronco was at preschool, and I had a pretty bad contraction while I was walking around. I tried to keep walking and pretend nothing was wrong...but I’m sure my face said otherwise haha.
That afternoon I had a non stress test at the hospital. I was hoping my contractions would pick up and they’d just have me walk over to labor and delivery...but no such luck. I had ONE measly contraction during the whole test. ONE. Seriously?! What was wrong with my body?! I was in a pretty bad mood the whole day—tired, emotionally drained, and feeling like a failure. I felt like I was failing everyone—we had told our families and a few other people that I was in labor...and yet it appeared that I really wasn’t. They kept texting me throughout the day for updates (only meaning well of course), and I felt like my body was broken and failing everyone. I took another nap on the couch after my NST, just to try to forget everything and catch up on the sleep I had lost the night before.
By the time I picked the boys up from school, I was convinced that nothing was going to speed up anytime soon, and that I would probably stay pregnant for another few days or so. Which, looking back, would have been totally fine, but at the moment, I was devastated about. I was ready and wanted to just get it over with! The boys were sad and confused when I was the one who picked them up—they had expected me to have the baby by then, and we had told them that Curt’s parents would probably be the ones picking them up.
We went through the after-school routine just like normal (with contractions still coming off and on), and then Curt was nice and made pancakes for dinner, since I thought I was going to have a baby and hadn’t planned anything (and wasn’t really in the mood to make anything). I kept having to go to the bathroom (which, let’s be honest, was pretty normal for this point in pregnancy, haha), but I felt the urge to go even more than normal, almost looking for some sort of relief.
I was going to the bathroom when Curt got a phone call from Gianni (the other counselor in the bishopric); Curt had a bunch of callings he needed to extend later that night, and that morning Curt had told the Bishop and Gianni that he probably wouldn’t be able to do them, since I was in labor. But later in the day when it looked like nothing was going to happen with me anytime soon, Curt had told them that never mind, he WOULD be able to do the calling extensions. Anyway, so Gianni was calling Curt for an update and verifying that it would be okay for Curt to do them. I was on the toilet, and Curt was in the other room, literally saying the words, “No, her contractions slowed down and it doesn’t look like anything is going to happen today after all...” when I felt a strong feeling of pressure, and then a pop! as fluid started coming out of me. My water had just broken!!!
I yelled to Curt that my water broke, and I heard him say to Gianni, “Well, nevermind, Holly’s water just broke! ...Yep, just now as we were talking, haha. I’ll have to call you back!” I find it so funny that my contractions started when
I was on the phone with Gianni the night before, and then my water broke as
Curt was on the phone with Gianni that night, haha! Apparently Gianni was a key player in my labor...! ;)
Anyway, as soon as my water broke (it was about 6:15 pm), I started getting the shakes pretty bad, and my contractions started coming on a LOT harder, and a little bit closer together (about every 7 minutes). At first it was just a little fluid when my water broke, so I had the worry that maybe I had mistaken it, and it was just pee. When I stood up and started walking around, however, there was NO question that it had been my water breaking—I kept leaking fluid like nobody’s business...!! It was the craziest feeling. There was seriously SO much! And it would gush out a ton at once, and then nothing. (So crazy, since that wasn’t how it was at all when
my water broke with Calvin; with him it was just a steady slow leak...)
The boys were SO excited at this point!! We had talked about the different ways I could go into labor—one being with contractions, and one being with my water breaking. They had always been super interested/intrigued by the idea of my water breaking and would always ask lots of questions about it. So when they heard that my water broke, they all came running to me and were so, so excited about it. (And Curt had to remind them to give me space haha)
The contractions that came afterwards were SO much more painful and lasted longer—I had to completely stop everything and hold on to something and work really hard to breathe through them. There was no question that it was definitely time to go to the hospital!!!
(When Tucker saw how hard and painful the contractions were, he brought me his special stress ball—he said he thought it could help me get through them. It was so sweet! And I have kept the stress ball in the bathroom where he gave it to me, all this last week, just as a little reminder of how sweet he was, and how crazy the whole labor was.)
Anyway, so I wasn’t too concerned about leaving for the hospital RIGHT, right away...but Curt on the other hand, definitely was. He jumped into action, called his parents immediately, asking them to come up and sit with the boys, and loaded everything in the car within a few minutes. (Earlier that morning, when we thought we’d be going to the hospital sooner, we had finished packing the hospital bag and gathered everything we needed, so it was really nice that it was all ready to go for Curt to grab after my water broke.) I was totally fine waiting the 20-30 minutes for Mike & Chris to get up here, and I wanted to pick up the house a bit and do the dishes before leaving, but Curt insisted we leave ASAP. He called multiple people (mostly neighbors), trying to find someone to come sit with the boys for about 15 minutes until his parents got here, but no one was answering their phones. He finally got a hold of our friend Nora, and she was to our house within about 2 minutes. (bless her!) We kissed the boys goodbye and were off!
I was excited things were FINALLY happening, and yet terrified at the same time for what I was about to go through. My shakes wore off just a little before we left the house, and then the contractions picked up. And oh, how they hurt!! I had a few contractions on the way to the hospital (thankfully not too many), which were super uncomfortable. Curt was super concerned about getting me to the hospital as quickly as possible—he remembered how fast things had progressed with past pregnancies, and he wanted me to be able to get the epidural right away and everything. He was SO bugged by all the other drivers on the road and more than once almost zoomed around people to try to go faster. (It was totally your typical husband-freaking-out-driving-his-wife-in-labor-to-the-hospital scenario, haha.)
We got to the hospital a little before 7:00 pm, and Curt dropped me off at the door while he went to park. I walked inside and sat on a chair waiting for him, and I had a few contractions while I was sitting. A lady walked by and saw me and kind of did a double take and then asked if I was okay—if everything was alright. I told her my water just broke and I was waiting for my husband to come in, and she congratulated me and wished me good luck, and then a few other people in the lobby area chimed in and wished me good luck too. It was so random and funny, and yet so sweet.
We checked in and got set up in the room. My contractions were coming pretty closely at this point, and the girl who was getting me set up in the room as I was about to change kept saying, “If you need help, or if you feel ANY pressure, press this red button!” Apparently I was looking pretty close to delivering haha.
They checked me after I got changed into the hospital gown (all while fluid was STILL leaking out), and I was dilated to a 4+ (almost a 5). I was glad I wasn’t TOO close yet, since I definitely wanted an epidural and wanted to be able to get some antibiotics in me for group B strep.
I was hooked up to the IV by 7:45, and then the epidural was in at about 8:15. (The epidural was still the worst part of the delivery, by far. I can’t really even think about it without getting the shakes...those “zings” when it goes in are terrible...!) It took awhile for the epidural to kick in, and I was starting to get really worried that it wasn’t going to work. I could still lift my legs and feel every contraction—and a couple of them were SUUUUPER painful. Side note: I don’t remember my contractions with Bronco being nearly as bad. I remember I had to work to breathe through them and everything, but I thought I remembered them being more manageable. Maybe it was because I had been “laboring” and having contractions for so long since the night before or something (as opposed to only four hours with Bronco), but the contractions this time around seemed a lot worse. (And maybe it was because my water broke?) With Bronco I felt like I could have done it naturally if I’d wanted. But this time there was no way I could have gone naturally—I was dying to have that epidural work! (Although I was still proud of myself for being able to handle them with breathing. It was just really hard.) Anyway, so I pushed the epidural button twice for some bolus shots, and it finally, finally kicked in. And oh! How sweet it was!! As much as I truly hate getting the epidural put in...the relief it brought was totally & completely worth those terrible zings. I could have kissed that anesthesiologist!! (He really was so kind & so good to work with.)
We were kind of waiting to see how things were going to go—I wanted the epidural in and we wanted to make sure there were no problems with the placenta that would lead to a c-section, etc, so we had waited to invite our moms to come. But when they finally checked me again after the epidural finally kicked in (a little after 9:00), I was dilated to a 6/7...so I quickly texted our moms and told them they were welcome to come. (I sent the text at 9:08)
I figured we had at least a half hour to 45 minutes, but then they came in and checked me about 15 minutes later and I was complete and ready to go...!! Curt texted our families at 9:25 that it was go time, and then 3 contractions and a couple of pushes later, Hudson Michael Smith entered the world at 9:36 pm. So apparently my body DID remember how to have a baby after all. ;) (And our moms ended up getting there about 10-15 minutes later...)
With all the concerns with him measuring so small, we were hoping he would be at least 5 lbs...and he was!! 5 lbs 3 oz!! But still so teeny. Small as he was though, he checked out perfectly and got an 8/9 APGAR score (out of 10). And I love that he waited until March—even if just barely. ;) And he was born at 37 weeks 4 days, exactly like Calvin & Bronco. If anything, our boys are consistent, haha!
He came out face up, and apparently he got stuck on my pelvic bone, so I feel like I had to try harder and push a little longer with him than I did the other boys...but who knows/remembers for sure?
Just like with the other boys, it was such an amazing and crazy feeling when Dr. Harrison pulled him out (and feeling my belly empty out) and then laid him on my chest. My overwhelming feeling was just that he was finally here—the final member of our family that we had hoped and prayed for and worried about. This sweet baby was here at last.
The miracle of life is truly a miracle—the fact that we are blessed with the incredible opportunity to be co-creators with God—that Curt and I created this little life, that my body grew him and then helped him enter the world. Curt had given me a Priesthood blessing a few days before, and in it I was reminded of the sacred nature of childbirth, and I was told that there would be angels among the doctors and nurses, aiding in the birth of this little boy. I feel that he definitely has a special spirit—our little miracle baby.
Skipping ahead for just a second...as amazing as it was when Hudson was born, it was almost more emotional for me watching the older boys meet their new little brother for the first time the next day—having them all together for the first time and seeing their love and awe over him.
Curt had a dream a couple of months ago (that he actually remembered, which is rare) where he saw all four boys up in heaven together, as adult men. He could tell they were already really close friends, and they were standing arm in arm, looking down on Curt & I as newlyweds, talking about how excited they were to come down and be brothers together as a part of our family. They were deciding what order they would come down, and they decided Tucker would come down first so that he could be a good example of living the gospel, and then they each in turn decided the order for the rest of them. Obviously we don’t know how doctrinally correct this dream is or if that’s what really happened, but it’s been a special thing for us to think about. And as I watched all four boys come together for the first time, meeting Hudson in the hospital, it brought tears to my eyes. I hope they’ll always be able to share a special bond.
Lastly, Hudson’s name. As I mentioned in my previous post, we were trying to decide between the names Porter and Hudson. I have liked Hudson all along, and I felt very strongly that I could picture a little Hudson in our family. In fact, when we were finding out the gender, I was a teeny bit worried if it was a girl, because then I thought we might need to have another baby so we could have a little Hudson. Curt had felt pretty strongly that he wanted to name him after Porter Rockwell. At first he was thinking Rockwell, and then he started thinking Porter. Neither of us wanted to “make” the other one be okay with the name we liked best—we both tried to honestly consider both names. And neither of us was really opposed to either name...so it was just hard to try to decide. Every other time we’ve had a baby, we had the name decided before we got to the hospital, so it was killing me when we got to the hospital and the nurses kept asking if we already had a name...and we didn’t. We talked about it a little bit at the hospital, but then everything picked up with labor...and then he was born!! I think Curt had mentioned at one point that we could do Hudson, but I didn’t realize he was serious until later on when his mom asked if the name was Hudson or not, and Curt said that’s what he had posted to Instagram, so it better be! (I didn’t even realize he had done a post yet, haha) So there we had it! Curt jokes now that since it was my water breaking that ultimately put me into labor, it was like a rushing river, which made Hudson (like the Hudson River) a fitting name, haha. And we both always agreed on the middle name Michael, after Curt’s Dad.
So there you have it. The extremely wordy and detailed birth story of Hudson. We all love him so much and are so incredibly grateful to have him here. With all that we went through the past two years with trying to get pregnant, having a miscarriage, and then all the worries we had at the beginning of the pregnancy and then at the end when they were so worried about my placenta and him measuring small...we are grateful beyond words that everything went so smoothly with the delivery and that he has been perfectly healthy. We are so blessed and recognize the Lord’s hand in all these things. It’s been a trying first week with the normal craziness and lack of sleep that comes with a newborn, added on top of Curt’s extremely busy work schedule all week, and having Tucker & Bronco be sick for a lot of the week too. But I’ve learned from experience just how fast this newborn stage goes, and so I have tried to soak it all in as much as I possibly can. My house has been a mess and I haven’t gotten very many things done besides just barely getting ready and keeping everyone fed and alive, haha, but I am doing my very best to not take anything for granted. I spend a lot of time just holding & looking at Hudson and kissing his sweet face. We are so, so grateful to finally have him in our family, and we are all just smitten.
Sweet Hudson, we love you so!!
