Hallie's Birth Story--Fast & Furious!

Hallie Lyn Smith

January 24, 2020 at 1:24 am

5 lbs 7 oz, 17" long

Last Thursday morning I had my 36 week OB appt (I was 36 weeks 1 day), and when my doctor checked me, I was dilated 3 cm & 70% effaced, with the baby’s head “right there” and very much engaged (in my doctor’s words). This is the most progressed I had been with any of my kids at 36 weeks, but with Bronco I sat at 2.5 cm for a week without anything happening, so I figured it just meant that my body was getting ready, and the baby would probably come the next week like we were kind of planning on. Calvin, Bronco, and Hudson all ended up being born at 37 weeks 4 days exactly, so I kind of had it in my mind that we would probably be working with a similar time frame. (At least, that’s what we were hoping, seeing that my due date was Feb 19th—right in between Calvin’s Feb 17th and Bronco’s Feb 20th birthdays—and we really wanted to avoid having yet another birthday during that same week haha!) When I texted Curt after my appt, he started freaking out a little, thinking there was a good chance the baby might come even sooner. I assured him that I thought we still had some time—I told him I thought for sure we’d make it through the weekend, and my guess was that it would happen at the end of the next week/next weekend. If we only knew that she would actually come that night, haha.

We had a stomach bug going around our house at the time, and I was feeling pretty under the weather that day. I never actually threw up, but I was super nauseous and fatigued and was barely functioning throughout the day. (Also contributing was the fact that Calvin had been up all night throwing up the night before, so Curt & I hadn’t gotten much sleep at all.) When Curt got home from work, he wasn’t feeling very good either, so we made ramen noodles for Bronco & Hudson for dinner (they were the only ones with an appetite), and got everyone to bed as quick as we could. Curt & I wanted to catch up on sleep, so we tried to go to bed early too. Our plans for sleep were foiled, however, when Curt started throwing up and my Braxton Hicks/ sporadic contractions started coming on harder...

I always have regular Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancies, and this time was no different. However, starting at about 34/35 weeks I started getting a few “real” contractions here and there. Later in the afternoon and into the evening of that day (Thursday), I started having a few more “real” contractions. I wasn’t too concerned, though, and figured it was just part of my body getting ready. At 10:00 that night, however, I had my first really strong contraction—the kind that I had to focus on breathing to get through. When it hit, I told Curt, and I made the comment of how that night would be pretty much the worst night possible to go into labor...with Curt throwing up, all the boys with lingering sicknesses, no sleep for Curt & I, and two baby showers scheduled for me in the next few days. We had a few more things we needed to finish getting ready, and we wanted to make sure everyone was completely healthy before bringing a new baby home...we definitely did NOT want to have the baby that night! (Not to mention I was only 36 weeks, and we wanted her to cook a little longer to be as healthy as possible.)

Curt continued to throw up, and I started having a few more strong contractions, like 20-30 minutes apart...so not close enough to have me start timing them or anything, but enough that I started getting worried. I started praying and pleading with the Lord to help the contractions stop. Surely He knew it was a terrible night to have a baby!! But the contractions kept coming, slow but steady. At about midnight they started hitting HARD—coming much closer together and super painful...and I finally gave in and started timing them. Sure enough, they were coming every 3-5 minutes. It was go time. 😬

Curt was a good sport and assured me that he was feeling better after throwing up so much, and he got into his “let’s get it done” mode. When my contractions kept coming and I realized they probably weren’t going to stop, I had changed my prayers from “please help my contractions to stop so we don’t have to do this tonight” to “please help Curt to feel better so if/when we have to do this, he is able to be there and feel okay.” My prayers were answered, because Curt was able to find some relief, and he helped me finish packing the hospital bag and get everything ready to go. (I had started packing a few days before and had made a list of everything we needed to grab at the last second—thank goodness I had at least done that!)

My contractions were hitting hard and fast, and with each one I could almost feel my body dilating more. And then there was one contraction in particular where I started feeling pressure...almost with the urge to push. It was at this point that I realized it was going to happen FAST, and we needed to get to the hospital ASAP. (And it was also at this point that I realized there was probably a good chance I wouldn’t have time to get an epidural...) This was about 12:40ish.

I wanted and felt I needed a priesthood blessing pretty badly—and I really, really wished Curt could have gotten a blessing too! Somehow Curt was able to settle & clear his mind enough to give me a quick blessing on the side of our bed. I was told something to the effect of how my body was made to deliver babies easily, and that I would have angels around me to assist during the process and through the pain I would experience. In the blessing Curt also said that he would be able to have the energy and health he needed—I guess that’s the closest he could get to blessing himself. ;)

We finished gathering things up, I reluctantly took a final belly picture in my pajamas and no makeup (with our other babies, I’d always been able to have my makeup done and wear regular clothes...but not this time around), and we started heading out the door. Curt’s parents were on standby to watch the kids, so Curt had started trying to call them a little bit before we were ready to leave...but they weren’t answering. So Curt kept trying, over and over and over, but to no avail. Then he tried Chad a few times since we figured there was a good chance Chad was still awake, to see if he could keep trying to contact Mike & Chris for us, but Chad didn’t answer either. We had texted Cory & Allie and Collin & Rachel, just to let them know things were happening, but none of them responded, which meant they were all in bed as well. So Curt kept trying Mike & Chris, over and over and over some more (I think he called at least 30 times?!) as we were walking out the door, and we finally just had to leave the house and hope that we would get a hold of someone at some point to come sit with the boys. (They were all asleep, so we weren’t TOO concerned about leaving them alone for a little bit.) On the way to the hospital we finally gave up on Mike & Chris, and I called my mom. She lives just up the hill from us, but she had just had foot surgery with lots of complications, so we didn’t want to bother her or make her try to come down to be with the boys...but we realized she was pretty much our last option. (Besides our neighbors who we had in reserve as our true last option.) Anyway, my mom answered on the first try!! And I did my best to explain to her what was going on, with my clouded mind and through contractions, and she said she & Denex would be happy to make their way over to sit with the kids. Bless them!

We got to the hospital (just a short 5 minute drive away, thank goodness) and realized I had left my purse, which had my ID and insurance card that we needed, so we turned around to go back home to get it, and then went back to the hospital. That ride back to the hospital the second time was excruciating for me. The contractions were pretty much coming on top of each other and were SO painful—every turn and bump hurt so bad! (And I had the fleeting thought of what if we didn’t make it in time and I had the baby in the car?!)

Curt dropped me off and I waited in the lobby while he parked. The lobby was empty except for a few security guards, but one nice old man came out from nowhere to check on me and made sure I was doing okay and that I had someone to be with me—so kind of him. Curt finally (it felt like forever to me haha!) came in, and we rode the elevator up to labor & delivery, and as we waited for them to open the doors and let us in, I had the strongest, longest contraction that stopped me dead in my tracks. I could only lean against the wall and try to breathe through it...and I legitimately thought I might have the baby right then and there. Finally it let up enough so I could walk a few steps to the check-in desk, and as the kind lady at the desk started asking for my ID and everything, she ended up just getting me a wheelchair and had Curt wheel me directly to a room and said we could finish the check-in process later. I was so grateful. ;) (Also, Curt had said at some point to her that we wanted to get me the epidural as soon as possible, and I said I didn’t think there was going to be any time...)

We got to the room and my nurse Brittany immediately helped me start undressing and getting into a gown—I was contracting so hard and it hurt SO bad at this point. They helped me up onto the bed and checked me and said I was at a 9 or 10, and I remember Curt being surprised I was that far...whereas I was surprised that the baby’s head wasn’t right there coming out already! Suddenly the room was filled with people. (Or so I heard...my eyes were closed the entire time, trying to manage the pain.) The nurse turned around to give instructions to get everyone ready, and I felt my water break, and then the pain got even more intense somehow. (And I think it was during this point that another nurse somehow got an IV in my arm...? I don’t really know how or when that happened.) They had called my doctor, but had also called in the on-call doctor since it didn’t look like there was time for my doctor to make it. The on-call doctor checked me again right away and said I was complete and ready to go. Right at that moment Dr Harrison came in, and I was SO happy to hear her voice!! She has delivered all my babies, and I didn’t want her to miss the last one! (She told us later that she had gotten the call at 1:14, and somehow made it to the hospital in like 3 minutes or something, because the baby ended up coming at 1:24—it truly was a miracle that she made it!)

I was pretty much hyperventilating at this point because of the pain. I was trying to stay calm, but it hurt SO bad and I just didn’t even know how to deal with it. (Note to self: next time, even though there will never BE a next time, haha, practice some relaxation techniques!) Dr Harrison reminded me to breathe through my nose and out my mouth, and helped me slow down my breathing, and that helped a ton. And then she had me start pushing.

I’ve always had an epidural when I pushed, so it was a different kind of feeling this time. They had me hold my own legs, and I feel like it took me a minute to figure out the right way TO push; usually in life you try to keep yourself from doing something that causes pain, but in this case, I had to force myself to voluntarily push in a way that made me hurt more. I could hear the baby’s heartbeat on the monitor, and it was a lot slower than it should be (and I think I heard them talking about it), so that gave me the motivation to push hard through the pain and do whatever it took to get her here as quickly as possible. Dr Harrison warned me that the ‘ring of fire’ was coming...and oh my goodness, it hurt SO bad! I usually have a pretty high pain tolerance, and I can usually keep in control of my emotions, but as I pushed through that ring of fire I couldn’t help but scream out in pain...! And I apologized as I was doing it because I don’t like to feel out of control, but I literally could not help from screaming...it felt like I was exploding down there! I could obviously feel when the head was out, and then Dr Harrison reminded me to breathe slow before I pushed again to get the shoulders and the rest of the body out...and then it was done!! She was HERE!!!

The first thing I remember when she was born was opening my eyes and looking down and seeing that yes, she really WAS a girl! I still can’t believe it!! And then I laid my head back and said I couldn’t believe how that all just happened...! Dr. Harrison cut the cord and they took her straight over to the nurses instead of letting me hold her—they were a little concerned about her slow heart rate and her breathing. Apparently she had some labored breathing at first, and they thought they might have to intervene, but after observing her for a little bit, she perked up and began to cry & breathe better, so then they weighed her and brought her over to me for skin to skin. Being born at 36 weeks, I almost expected some problems, so it was amazing and such a blessing that she was okay and healthy!

Just as fast as it had happened, it was all over, and everything was calm as we enjoyed the skin to skin time and marveled at her teeny little body and the fact that she was here. Poor Curt was a trooper—I’m sure he was exhausted and weak from throwing up all night, but he was so good to focus on me and tell me what an amazing job I had done and how beautiful our little girl was. He didn’t want to get her sick, so he didn’t hold her, which broke my heart a little. But it was probably for the best. (And he ended up going back home about an hour later, and he apparently threw up a couple more times through the rest of the night...poor guy!)

So as a recap on the timeline...
10:00 pm - first really intense contraction (contractions came 20-30 minutes apart after that)
12:00 am - contractions started coming regularly 3-5 minutes apart (all of a sudden)
1:05 am - we got to the hospital
1:24 am - baby was born!*

*Quick note about the time she was born. Curt remembers specifically looking at his watch the second she was born, to see the time, and it was 1:24 am. (And he wears an Apple Watch, so it’s pretty reliable haha) Later when I asked, the nurse said 1:26...but Curt is 100% confident it was actually at 1:24. So we’re going to go with that, because I trust Curt haha, and because then it matches with her birthday: 1:24 am on 1/24/2020. :)

Thoughts about doing it completely unmedicated. It was obviously SUPER painful, and there were moments I thought I was going to pass out and die from the pain, haha (except that I’m not even joking...), but because it was so fast, it was totally doable. Especially if I had prepared ahead of time and practiced relaxation techniques, I think it would have been an even more positive experience. The recovery afterward has been night and day different—it was AMAZING to not have to recover from an epidural! I absolutely hate the feeling of not being in control of my body, so I loved that I didn’t have to deal with not being able to feel or use my legs for hours afterwards. I was up walking around on my own within an hour after the birth, and I felt amazing! And because of Dr. Harrison’s coaching, I somehow didn’t tear at all, which also has made the recovery even more AMAZING!!! It has been my fastest and easiest recovery by far, and I have LOVED it. That being said, the one thing I am sad about is that because I was focused so much on the pain, when she was born my immediate thoughts were how relieved I was that it was over and how good I felt for having done it...and not necessarily focused on Hallie and how happy I was that SHE was here, not just that the pain was over. Of course, part of those feelings might have been because I wasn’t able to hold her for a few minutes, so I couldn’t focus as much on her at first anyway.

So we’ve dubbed it as the “Fast & Furious” delivery—it seriously was so crazy how fast and sudden it all happened. Looking back now, I’m glad I didn’t end up having to get an epidural, and I’m happy with how that turned out. I’m still a little unsure on the timing though...a week later sure would have been nice, haha! But I guess it’s nice to be a week back into life now and past those first few days. I’m sad that Curt wasn’t feeling well and didn’t get to enjoy the delivery as much because he was sick, and I’m sad that because the boys were all getting over the stomach bug, we never had a formal “come and meet your new sister” moment at the hospital...they didn’t meet her until we came home from the hospital, and we didn’t get very good pictures or anything. I had had my sister-in-law Rachel on standby to come photograph the birth (I’ve always wanted a birth photographer, and I was so excited to actually have a photographer in the family who could do it!), but obviously the timing didn’t work out...WE barely made it to the delivery room, let alone anyone else haha! (Including our moms who I had tried to invite ahead of time to come in too—goes to show it’s almost pointless to make a plan haha). All of that being said, however, I still am happy with how everything worked out, and it was worth every inconvenience/ill-timing, just to get her here and have her be healthy.

We love little Hallie and her sweet spirit so much already, and I know she is meant to be here in our family for a reason—she completes us. ❤️ It’s amazing how I was so unsure about having a girl and how she would fit in, but now that she’s here I can’t imagine our family without her. She's perfect for us.

Welcome to the world, and welcome to our family, Hallie girl!! We love you so much!

Hudson's Birth Story

Hudson Michael Smith

March 1, 2018

5 lbs 3 oz, 18 inches

9:36 pm

Last Wednesday, Feb 28th, I had the urge to get a few extra things done in preparation for the baby—things like grocery shopping and stocking up on foods that would be good to have on hand for the kids, doing laundry a day earlier than normal, filling up the car with gas, etc. Small things that I wouldn’t normally do unless I knew the baby was coming soon, but which I felt would be good to do that day, for whatever reason. I was completely wiped out after going grocery shopping that morning, so when I got home, I put a show on for Bronco and collapsed with him on the couch for a nice one hour nap—something I very rarely do. Also that day I started feeling a little different; I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly, but I told Curt I was starting to feel differently and that I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby came soon.

That night Curt stayed up late working in the basement (he was starting his two busiest weeks of work out of the year...and he worked in the basement every night after the kids were in bed), and I hung out with him in his office, working on some church primary things. There was something for cub scouts that needed to get done that night, and I had to have help from the other bishopric counselor, Gianni, to get it done. I ended up being on the phone with Gianni at 10:00 that night, trying to get it all figured out, and while I was on the phone with him, I started having some real (as opposed to Braxton Hicks) contractions. I think we were on the phone for about 30 minutes? And I had probably 3-4 contractions during that time. As soon as I got off the phone, I told Curt I was having a few contractions, and we laughed about the fact that I was 37 weeks 3 days—exactly as far along as I was when I went into labor with both Calvin & Bronco. And we laughed about the fact that it was *almost* March 1st (2 hrs away)—which was my goal, to make it to March. (And funny—Curt’s Mom had just texted me a half hour earlier, saying it was 2.5 hrs to March and that it looked like we were going to make it!) So Curt & I talked for a few minutes about how crazy it would be to go into labor then, but then he had to get back to work. I tried to play it off a little, because he had quite a few things going on the next two days, and I didn’t want to stress him out, but I had a feeling deep down that this was going to be it. I downloaded an app to start keeping track of my contractions, just to make me feel better.

The last belly picture I took at 37 weeks--4 days before he was born:

I went up to bed pretty soon after that, and I was having contractions (pretty mild, but yet still “real”) about every 10-15 minutes. I fell asleep for awhile, and then woke up a little after 1:00 when Curt came to bed. We talked for a few minutes, and then he fell asleep, but I never did. My contractions started picking up at that point, 8 minutes apart, then 7, and then 5-6 minutes apart. And that’s where I stood for the next two hours—contractions every 5-6 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds to a minute in length, and picking up in intensity. I debated about when to wake Curt up—I wanted him to be able to get as much sleep as possible since he had a lot of late work nights ahead of him. The contractions weren’t coming any closer together yet, but when I thought about the time it would take to get Curt’s parents up here and get to the hospital, I figured we should probably start that process fairly soon.

At 3:30 Curt rolled over and asked how I was doing, and I told him I was having pretty regular contractions and that I thought it was about time to call his parents and get to the hospital. He said he needed to get in the shower to wake up more so we could figure out the details. Strangely enough, when Curt got into the shower, my contractions started slowing down, and I didn’t have a single one for fifteen minutes. When I told him this after he got out of the shower, we decided to lay down for a few more minutes and see what happened. After that, they started slowing down to every 10 minutes, then every 15-20 minutes. So Curt fell back asleep and I slept off and on between contractions, still timing them on my phone.

When the boys woke up at 6:30, the contractions started picking up again—anywhere from every 2 to 8 minutes for the next hour. I figured they’d continue picking up and we’d be heading to the hospital soon, so we called and texted our families and let them know what was going on and that the baby would most likely be coming that day. At this point I was glad everything had slowed down so Curt could get more sleep and so that we didn’t have to call family in the middle of the night. I was also glad we got to see the boys—I was sad in the middle of the night when I thought I wouldn’t be able to see them before we headed out. The boys were SUPER excited when we told them I was in labor!! Curt got the boys breakfast and everything so I didn’t have to worry about it as I was trying to get ready while having contractions.

I already had my 37 week OB appt scheduled for that morning at 9:40, so we figured I would plan on going to that appt, unless things picked up and we needed to go to the hospital sooner. Curt made some calls and rearranged some of his plans for the day so he could go to the appt with me and work from home the whole day so he could be ready to go to the hospital whenever.

Curt took all the kids to school...and then my contractions slowed down again, to every 15-20 minutes. I started getting a little depressed at this point. What was wrong with my body?! It knew how to do this, so why wasn’t it doing it faster? The time I was in labor with Bronco was 4.5 hours—from the time of my first contraction to the time he was born. I didn’t expect it to go THAT fast again, but I figured it would still happen fairly quickly. By the time I got to my OB appt I was hardly having any contractions at all. I think I maybe had 3 total while we were there. (I was so frustrated/depressed about it at that point that I stopped keeping track of them, because it was stressing me out and making me upset.)

I told Dr. Harrison that I was up all night with contractions but that they had slowed down—and when she checked me I was dilated 3 cm and 70% effaced. (At my OB appt one week before, I was dilated 1 cm and 65% effaced.) So at least I had made progress!! (I was going to be so sad if I hadn’t progressed at all...!) She talked with me about the ultrasounds and NST’s I had had in the last week (they were monitoring me & the baby closely since he was measuring 4 weeks behind), and she said that if everything continued to look good, she would induce me on Sunday the 11th (39 weeks)...if I was still pregnant. But then she said she would probably just see me sometime that weekend at the hospital, based on my contractions and everything. ;)

The rest of the day I continued to have contractions off and on. Sometimes they would pick up and be consistent for an hour, and then they would taper off again. Whenever I had them, however, they were the stop-me-in-my-tracks-and-try-to-breathe-through-them kind of contractions. The funniest was probably when I went to Hobby Lobby to get something real fast while Bronco was at preschool, and I had a pretty bad contraction while I was walking around. I tried to keep walking and pretend nothing was wrong...but I’m sure my face said otherwise haha.

That afternoon I had a non stress test at the hospital. I was hoping my contractions would pick up and they’d just have me walk over to labor and delivery...but no such luck. I had ONE measly contraction during the whole test. ONE. Seriously?! What was wrong with my body?! I was in a pretty bad mood the whole day—tired, emotionally drained, and feeling like a failure. I felt like I was failing everyone—we had told our families and a few other people that I was in labor...and yet it appeared that I really wasn’t. They kept texting me throughout the day for updates (only meaning well of course), and I felt like my body was broken and failing everyone. I took another nap on the couch after my NST, just to try to forget everything and catch up on the sleep I had lost the night before.

By the time I picked the boys up from school, I was convinced that nothing was going to speed up anytime soon, and that I would probably stay pregnant for another few days or so. Which, looking back, would have been totally fine, but at the moment, I was devastated about. I was ready and wanted to just get it over with! The boys were sad and confused when I was the one who picked them up—they had expected me to have the baby by then, and we had told them that Curt’s parents would probably be the ones picking them up.

We went through the after-school routine just like normal (with contractions still coming off and on), and then Curt was nice and made pancakes for dinner, since I thought I was going to have a baby and hadn’t planned anything (and wasn’t really in the mood to make anything). I kept having to go to the bathroom (which, let’s be honest, was pretty normal for this point in pregnancy, haha), but I felt the urge to go even more than normal, almost looking for some sort of relief.

I was going to the bathroom when Curt got a phone call from Gianni (the other counselor in the bishopric); Curt had a bunch of callings he needed to extend later that night, and that morning Curt had told the Bishop and Gianni that he probably wouldn’t be able to do them, since I was in labor. But later in the day when it looked like nothing was going to happen with me anytime soon, Curt had told them that never mind, he WOULD be able to do the calling extensions. Anyway, so Gianni was calling Curt for an update and verifying that it would be okay for Curt to do them. I was on the toilet, and Curt was in the other room, literally saying the words, “No, her contractions slowed down and it doesn’t look like anything is going to happen today after all...” when I felt a strong feeling of pressure, and then a pop! as fluid started coming out of me. My water had just broken!!!

I yelled to Curt that my water broke, and I heard him say to Gianni, “Well, nevermind, Holly’s water just broke! ...Yep, just now as we were talking, haha. I’ll have to call you back!” I find it so funny that my contractions started when I was on the phone with Gianni the night before, and then my water broke as Curt was on the phone with Gianni that night, haha! Apparently Gianni was a key player in my labor...! ;)

Anyway, as soon as my water broke (it was about 6:15 pm), I started getting the shakes pretty bad, and my contractions started coming on a LOT harder, and a little bit closer together (about every 7 minutes). At first it was just a little fluid when my water broke, so I had the worry that maybe I had mistaken it, and it was just pee. When I stood up and started walking around, however, there was NO question that it had been my water breaking—I kept leaking fluid like nobody’s business...!! It was the craziest feeling. There was seriously SO much! And it would gush out a ton at once, and then nothing. (So crazy, since that wasn’t how it was at all when my water broke with Calvin; with him it was just a steady slow leak...)

The boys were SO excited at this point!! We had talked about the different ways I could go into labor—one being with contractions, and one being with my water breaking. They had always been super interested/intrigued by the idea of my water breaking and would always ask lots of questions about it. So when they heard that my water broke, they all came running to me and were so, so excited about it. (And Curt had to remind them to give me space haha)

The contractions that came afterwards were SO much more painful and lasted longer—I had to completely stop everything and hold on to something and work really hard to breathe through them. There was no question that it was definitely time to go to the hospital!!!

(When Tucker saw how hard and painful the contractions were, he brought me his special stress ball—he said he thought it could help me get through them. It was so sweet! And I have kept the stress ball in the bathroom where he gave it to me, all this last week, just as a little reminder of how sweet he was, and how crazy the whole labor was.)

Anyway, so I wasn’t too concerned about leaving for the hospital RIGHT, right away...but Curt on the other hand, definitely was. He jumped into action, called his parents immediately, asking them to come up and sit with the boys, and loaded everything in the car within a few minutes. (Earlier that morning, when we thought we’d be going to the hospital sooner, we had finished packing the hospital bag and gathered everything we needed, so it was really nice that it was all ready to go for Curt to grab after my water broke.) I was totally fine waiting the 20-30 minutes for Mike & Chris to get up here, and I wanted to pick up the house a bit and do the dishes before leaving, but Curt insisted we leave ASAP. He called multiple people (mostly neighbors), trying to find someone to come sit with the boys for about 15 minutes until his parents got here, but no one was answering their phones. He finally got a hold of our friend Nora, and she was to our house within about 2 minutes. (bless her!) We kissed the boys goodbye and were off!

I was excited things were FINALLY happening, and yet terrified at the same time for what I was about to go through. My shakes wore off just a little before we left the house, and then the contractions picked up. And oh, how they hurt!! I had a few contractions on the way to the hospital (thankfully not too many), which were super uncomfortable. Curt was super concerned about getting me to the hospital as quickly as possible—he remembered how fast things had progressed with past pregnancies, and he wanted me to be able to get the epidural right away and everything. He was SO bugged by all the other drivers on the road and more than once almost zoomed around people to try to go faster. (It was totally your typical husband-freaking-out-driving-his-wife-in-labor-to-the-hospital scenario, haha.)

We got to the hospital a little before 7:00 pm, and Curt dropped me off at the door while he went to park. I walked inside and sat on a chair waiting for him, and I had a few contractions while I was sitting. A lady walked by and saw me and kind of did a double take and then asked if I was okay—if everything was alright. I told her my water just broke and I was waiting for my husband to come in, and she congratulated me and wished me good luck, and then a few other people in the lobby area chimed in and wished me good luck too. It was so random and funny, and yet so sweet.

We checked in and got set up in the room. My contractions were coming pretty closely at this point, and the girl who was getting me set up in the room as I was about to change kept saying, “If you need help, or if you feel ANY pressure, press this red button!” Apparently I was looking pretty close to delivering haha.

They checked me after I got changed into the hospital gown (all while fluid was STILL leaking out), and I was dilated to a 4+ (almost a 5). I was glad I wasn’t TOO close yet, since I definitely wanted an epidural and wanted to be able to get some antibiotics in me for group B strep.

I was hooked up to the IV by 7:45, and then the epidural was in at about 8:15. (The epidural was still the worst part of the delivery, by far. I can’t really even think about it without getting the shakes...those “zings” when it goes in are terrible...!) It took awhile for the epidural to kick in, and I was starting to get really worried that it wasn’t going to work. I could still lift my legs and feel every contraction—and a couple of them were SUUUUPER painful. Side note: I don’t remember my contractions with Bronco being nearly as bad. I remember I had to work to breathe through them and everything, but I thought I remembered them being more manageable. Maybe it was because I had been “laboring” and having contractions for so long since the night before or something (as opposed to only four hours with Bronco), but the contractions this time around seemed a lot worse. (And maybe it was because my water broke?) With Bronco I felt like I could have done it naturally if I’d wanted. But this time there was no way I could have gone naturally—I was dying to have that epidural work! (Although I was still proud of myself for being able to handle them with breathing. It was just really hard.) Anyway, so I pushed the epidural button twice for some bolus shots, and it finally, finally kicked in. And oh! How sweet it was!! As much as I truly hate getting the epidural put in...the relief it brought was totally & completely worth those terrible zings. I could have kissed that anesthesiologist!! (He really was so kind & so good to work with.)

We were kind of waiting to see how things were going to go—I wanted the epidural in and we wanted to make sure there were no problems with the placenta that would lead to a c-section, etc, so we had waited to invite our moms to come. But when they finally checked me again after the epidural finally kicked in (a little after 9:00), I was dilated to a 6/7...so I quickly texted our moms and told them they were welcome to come. (I sent the text at 9:08)

I figured we had at least a half hour to 45 minutes, but then they came in and checked me about 15 minutes later and I was complete and ready to go...!! Curt texted our families at 9:25 that it was go time, and then 3 contractions and a couple of pushes later, Hudson Michael Smith entered the world at 9:36 pm. So apparently my body DID remember how to have a baby after all. ;) (And our moms ended up getting there about 10-15 minutes later...)

With all the concerns with him measuring so small, we were hoping he would be at least 5 lbs...and he was!! 5 lbs 3 oz!! But still so teeny. Small as he was though, he checked out perfectly and got an 8/9 APGAR score (out of 10). And I love that he waited until March—even if just barely. ;) And he was born at 37 weeks 4 days, exactly like Calvin & Bronco. If anything, our boys are consistent, haha!

He came out face up, and apparently he got stuck on my pelvic bone, so I feel like I had to try harder and push a little longer with him than I did the other boys...but who knows/remembers for sure?

Just like with the other boys, it was such an amazing and crazy feeling when Dr. Harrison pulled him out (and feeling my belly empty out) and then laid him on my chest. My overwhelming feeling was just that he was finally here—the final member of our family that we had hoped and prayed for and worried about. This sweet baby was here at last.

The miracle of life is truly a miracle—the fact that we are blessed with the incredible opportunity to be co-creators with God—that Curt and I created this little life, that my body grew him and then helped him enter the world. Curt had given me a Priesthood blessing a few days before, and in it I was reminded of the sacred nature of childbirth, and I was told that there would be angels among the doctors and nurses, aiding in the birth of this little boy. I feel that he definitely has a special spirit—our little miracle baby.

Skipping ahead for just a second...as amazing as it was when Hudson was born, it was almost more emotional for me watching the older boys meet their new little brother for the first time the next day—having them all together for the first time and seeing their love and awe over him.

Curt had a dream a couple of months ago (that he actually remembered, which is rare) where he saw all four boys up in heaven together, as adult men. He could tell they were already really close friends, and they were standing arm in arm, looking down on Curt & I as newlyweds, talking about how excited they were to come down and be brothers together as a part of our family. They were deciding what order they would come down, and they decided Tucker would come down first so that he could be a good example of living the gospel, and then they each in turn decided the order for the rest of them. Obviously we don’t know how doctrinally correct this dream is or if that’s what really happened, but it’s been a special thing for us to think about. And as I watched all four boys come together for the first time, meeting Hudson in the hospital, it brought tears to my eyes. I hope they’ll always be able to share a special bond.

Lastly, Hudson’s name. As I mentioned in my previous post, we were trying to decide between the names Porter and Hudson. I have liked Hudson all along, and I felt very strongly that I could picture a little Hudson in our family. In fact, when we were finding out the gender, I was a teeny bit worried if it was a girl, because then I thought we might need to have another baby so we could have a little Hudson. Curt had felt pretty strongly that he wanted to name him after Porter Rockwell. At first he was thinking Rockwell, and then he started thinking Porter. Neither of us wanted to “make” the other one be okay with the name we liked best—we both tried to honestly consider both names. And neither of us was really opposed to either name...so it was just hard to try to decide. Every other time we’ve had a baby, we had the name decided before we got to the hospital, so it was killing me when we got to the hospital and the nurses kept asking if we already had a name...and we didn’t. We talked about it a little bit at the hospital, but then everything picked up with labor...and then he was born!! I think Curt had mentioned at one point that we could do Hudson, but I didn’t realize he was serious until later on when his mom asked if the name was Hudson or not, and Curt said that’s what he had posted to Instagram, so it better be! (I didn’t even realize he had done a post yet, haha) So there we had it! Curt jokes now that since it was my water breaking that ultimately put me into labor, it was like a rushing river, which made Hudson (like the Hudson River) a fitting name, haha. And we both always agreed on the middle name Michael, after Curt’s Dad.

So there you have it. The extremely wordy and detailed birth story of Hudson. We all love him so much and are so incredibly grateful to have him here. With all that we went through the past two years with trying to get pregnant, having a miscarriage, and then all the worries we had at the beginning of the pregnancy and then at the end when they were so worried about my placenta and him measuring small...we are grateful beyond words that everything went so smoothly with the delivery and that he has been perfectly healthy. We are so blessed and recognize the Lord’s hand in all these things. It’s been a trying first week with the normal craziness and lack of sleep that comes with a newborn, added on top of Curt’s extremely busy work schedule all week, and having Tucker & Bronco be sick for a lot of the week too. But I’ve learned from experience just how fast this newborn stage goes, and so I have tried to soak it all in as much as I possibly can. My house has been a mess and I haven’t gotten very many things done besides just barely getting ready and keeping everyone fed and alive, haha, but I am doing my very best to not take anything for granted. I spend a lot of time just holding & looking at Hudson and kissing his sweet face. We are so, so grateful to finally have him in our family, and we are all just smitten.

Sweet Hudson, we love you so!!

Bronco's Birth Story

Bronco Alan Smith

February 20, 2014 - 8:45 AM

6 lbs 12 oz, 19 inches

Last Wednesday I had my 37 week doctor's appointment. My doctor gave me the choice of whether or not she'd check my dilation/effacement, and since I had Tucker with me at the appointment, I decided not to. I didn't want to get my hopes up or anything if I had progressed more, so I decided to just let it be. (At my appointment a week earlier I was dilated 2.5 cm & 70% effaced.) Everything else looked & sounded great, so she sent me on my way. She did mention that she would be traveling up to Ogden that coming weekend, so if I could try to cross my legs between Friday night & Sunday morning--she'd really appreciate it, haha. Little did we know that the baby would be coming in less than 24 hours...

The rest of the day I went grocery shopping & finished up a few last nesting projects I had on my list. I told Curt that I thought my nesting phase was coming to an end because I was starting to lose motivation/energy. I had washed & straightened my hair that morning (which would last for a few days before needing washing again), and after grocery shopping & stocking up on all the food, I remember thinking it would be an okay time to have the baby--minus the fact that I had a Relief Society activity I was in charge of the next night. (which I ultimately ended up missing)

Wednesday evening we watched Chad & Lisa's girls so they could go out to celebrate Chad's birthday. Lisa had asked if I would be willing to watch the girls, and when I told her we were available pretty much whenever (Chad's birthday wasn't for another week), she said that sooner rather than later would probably be better--just in case I went into labor. Apparently she was more in tune than I was...as Wednesday was the last night before the baby came! :)

Wednesday night Curt & I went to bed fairly early, and I slept okay for about an hour or two, and then I was up multiple times per hour. I kept having to go to the bathroom, and I just felt so incredibly uncomfortable--I considered going out to the family room & trying reclining or laying on the couch. I remember thinking I wanted to have the baby that night, just because I was so miserable & I didn't want to have any more nights like that.

4:00 am I started having contractions--REAL contractions, not just the normal braxton hicks contractions I'd been having all along. I knew these were real because it wasn't just a tightening like I normally felt--but intense pressure that spread around to my back with each one. They started out pretty painful from the start, and I had to relax & breathe slowly through them. I figured the contractions would go away, but after a couple in a row, I decided to at least look at the clock to see how far apart they were. They were coming right about 5 minutes apart. And they kept coming. At 4:30 I decided to find & download an app on my phone to time them. They were coming consistently 4-5 minutes apart, and lasting from 30-45 seconds.

So I sat in bed, timing contractions on my phone until 5:00, trying to decide when to wake Curt up. I kept going back & forth in my mind--trying to decide whether or not this was the real thing. In between contractions I would almost talk myself out of it, convincing myself that the contractions were going to slow down and/or go away. But then another one would hit & I was pretty sure it was the real deal. Right about 5:00 the contractions started coming closer to 3 minutes apart, still lasting 30-45 seconds. I said a quick prayer, praying for guidance & to know if/when to wake Curt up & when we needed to go to the hospital. I decided pretty quick that I needed to wake Curt up.

So at 5:10 I nudged Curt & told him I'd been having consistent contractions for the last hour & that they were now coming every 3-5 minutes apart & hurting pretty bad. He was pretty alert right away & asked what I wanted him to do. We sat in bed for a little bit, talking about when we would need to leave & who we would have come stay with the boys. At first we thought we could maybe wait until the boys woke up at 7:00, but then as the contractions kept coming closer to 3 minutes apart & started lasting a little longer each time, I knew we needed to go in sooner than that. I wanted to get ready as much as I could, so I worked on my makeup in between contractions while Curt finished packing the hospital bag (which I had started packing the week earlier).

With each contraction I had to stop what I was doing, bend over & bounce or sway a little, and breathe slowly. It was so weird to be going through REAL labor for the first time!! (With Tucker I was induced & with Calvin my water broke, but the contractions never started on their own.) The contractions were pretty intense & painful, but I never felt out of control or unable to bear them--I was able to handle them pretty well, which I felt good about.

We called Chad (actually Lisa, because Chad's phone was on vibrate & he never answered, haha) a little before 6 & asked if he'd be willing to come sit with the boys till they woke up. Lisa had already offered multiple times to watch the boys whenever it happened, so we figured Chad could take the boys down to her after they woke up. We were so grateful for their willingness to help!!! Chad got to our house about 6:15, and he & Curt gave me a quick priesthood blessing, and then Curt & I took off for the hospital. We called our parents on the way to the hospital, and I continued to breathe through each contraction.

When we got to the hospital at about 6:30, I told Curt he didn't need to drop me off at the doors or anything--I could handle walking from the parking lot. And then we laughed as I had to stop a few times to breathe through contractions between the parking lot & the doors; apparently he should have dropped me off, haha.

We walked in & I felt funny telling the nurses I thought I was in labor. It's such a weird thing to say for some reason. But I felt pretty confident that I really WAS in labor, considering the contractions I was having.

After getting dressed in the lovely hospital gown, they checked me & I was at a SEVEN!!! I was thinking/hoping for maybe a 4 or 5--I was completely shocked to be at a 7 already! Apparently those contractions really were the real deal! And then I tried not to freak out as I remembered how fast I had progressed from a 7 to a 10 with my other two births. I had tested positive for group B, so I was supposed to have two doses of antibiotics, 4 hours apart. Obviously I wasn't going to make it another four hours, so I started worrying about that, but there wasn't anything I could do; I had started having contractions less than 3 hours earlier--I had no idea it would have gone so fast!! (which then I started thinking maybe I should have had Dr. Harrison check me at my appointment the day before...maybe that could have somehow given us a better idea?? oh well.)

My nurse, McCall, was awesome, and I loved all the nurses on staff. They called Dr. Harrison & she was there pretty soon after. We laughed as she came in, and I told her I just wanted to make sure to have the baby before she went up to Ogden that weekend--which she said she appreciated, haha. The anesthesiologist came a few minutes later, and the epidural was in at about 7:30. The epidural is always the scariest part for me, but this anesthesiologist was so kind & patient, and it was the best epidural experience I've had.

Even though the contractions weren't killing me & I was handling them pretty well, the relief from the epidural was fabulous! It was still hard to deal with the feeling of not being able to feel my legs AT ALL, though--so weird!

The nurse checked me after the epidural & I was at an 8. Then Dr. Harrison came in & broke my water, and I was still at an 8, so she ran home to shower real fast. (Apparently she had delivered a baby just a few hours before, and she wasn't sure how fast I was going to go, so she came straight to the hospital right when they called.) About 15 minutes later I was at a 9, and then a few minutes after that I was at a 10 & ready to push!

I couldn't feel any pressure, thanks to the epidural, so Dr. Harrison & the nurse had to tell me when to push. I pushed once for the count of 10, and his head was halfway out, and then two more pushes & he was here! 8:45 am--just 4 hours & 45 minutes after my first contraction. Such a quick & easy (for the most part) labor!! I seriously couldn't have asked for anything different or better!

He came out screaming & they put him right on my chest. Having gone through it twice before doesn't make it any less amazing. Holding that sweet baby for the first time was the most wonderful feeling in the world. They cleaned him off while he was on my chest, and then I got to hold him & nurse him. (And he has been the best little nurser right from the start--such a blessing.) It was so sweet & peaceful & intimate. The nurses were so nice to care for my needs, but give us the time to ourselves as a little family. What a perfect birth--I couldn't have asked for anything better.

And I still can't believe he's already been here for a week--and I was supposed to be only 38 weeks right now! So crazy that I've now had two babies at 37 weeks! Seriously, so crazy. Calvin was born at 37 weeks 3 days, and Bronco was born at 37 weeks 4 days. I'm a little sad that their birthdays ended up being only 3 days apart...but I guess that's better than being on the same day?! I can't believe how everything worked out.

What a miracle birth is! I'm so grateful for my body & that I have been able to carry & birth our three boys. I'm so grateful for little Bronco & for his sweet little spirit in our home. We love him so much & are so grateful to have him in our family. He has been such a good little baby so far, and we are so excited to watch him grow & see what his personality will be like.

Welcome to the world, little Bronco!

Calvin's Birth Story

Here I am, trying to get back on top of blogging. I have so many pictures to post & so many things I want to say...but just not as much time to do it all. :) Thanks to all of you who have called, texted, commented on the blog/facebook, offered to watch Tucker, etc. We feel so loved & so blessed!

Curt did an awesome job of doing play-by-play posts during labor & delivery, but I just want to get my own thoughts & feelings written down as well. (Sorry that it's super long!)

Last Wednesday night was a normal night. Curt got home early from work & was doing some handyman things in our bedroom. We ate dinner & I started cleaning up while Curt ran to Lowe's to buy some bolts. My friend Adri stopped by to bring some bumper pads she had sewn for the crib (super cute--pictures to come!), and Tucker played with her boys for a little while. She left right about the same time Curt left to go play a basketball game with the Elder's Quorum.

About 10 minutes after Curt left, I was in the middle of starting to put Tucker to bed & tying on the crib bumper pads...when my water broke (about 7:50 pm). It wasn't a huge "gush of fluids" like you hear about--so I wasn't quite sure if it was my water, or if I had just somehow peed my pants. I started to panic a little & called Curt. Since I wasn't completely sure that it was my water breaking (& I wasn't feeling any contractions), he was hesitant about coming back home & missing the game. (In his defense, he had been looking forward to playing this game for awhile...) After talking for a few minutes on the phone & hearing how worried I was, he realized he should probably just come home (good decision). :)

If you had asked me right then, I would have told you it was the worst possible time to go into labor. I was only 37 weeks, and we weren't ready! We didn't have any bags packed, the house was a complete disaster (dishes, toys, and tools everywhere!), we didn't have a plan for who would take care of Tucker since our moms weren't in town, the laundry wasn't done, I never wanted to be in labor through the night, I hadn't crossed ANYTHING off the "to do before baby comes" list, and we didn't have a SINGLE newborn diaper! Looking back, however, the timing ended up working out just fine--even ideally in some cases.

So back to that night. (I can't believe it was just a week ago!) Curt came home & quickly picked up the house while I put Tucker to bed. (Of course Tucker took extra long to go down & wasn't super cooperative, but he finally did go down.) We finally got a hold of both our parents to let them know what was going on, and I called my doctor to make sure I really should go to the hospital (she said I should). I still wasn't 100% sure it was my water breaking, so I was really worried that we were making this into a huge deal...and what if I had just somehow peed my pants??! I was really nervous and scared--I didn't feel prepared in any way (mentally, emotionally, physically), and I didn't feel like I had the energy to push out a baby if I really was going into labor. I had Curt give me a priesthood blessing, and that helped me feel more at peace & calmed my nerves. We quickly packed a bag (completely forgetting to bring a diaper bag or anything for the baby!) & headed to the hospital. Oh, and we had our downstairs renters listen for Tucker on the monitor, and we had Curt's brother on call to come spend the night at our house if it did end up being the real deal.

We got to the hospital at about 9:00 pm, and I felt really funny telling the nurses & everyone that my water had broken & I was in labor--because I still wasn't feeling any contractions or anything at all; I definitely did not look like I was in labor! I got changed into the hospital gown & settled into my room. They did a test to see if it really was my water that had broken (moment of truth!)...and it came back positive, so I was officially admitted.

The rest of the night is pretty much documented through Curt's posts. I had a slight low-grade fever, so they decided to hook me up to pitocin to start inducing contractions, since I still wasn't feeling any (not even any braxton hicks--which I had been feeling since week 14!). I had tested positive for Group B Strep, so I had to have two doses of antibiotics, four hours apart. The first dose was at 10:00 pm, so the second dose had to be at 2:00 am, and I couldn't have the baby until after then. I came in dilated to 3 cm, so we settled in for a long night.

We spent the first few hours texting & calling friends & family. It was very different to have just Curt & I there in the room--with Tucker we had so many family members with us. We still couldn't believe it was happening. Three weeks early??? My water broke on it's own??? It was just all so crazy, and NOT what we had expected or planned on! I was worried about the baby & hoping he would be okay since he was coming early. And I worried about Tucker & if he would sleep through the night & how he would handle us not being there when he woke up.

I still wasn't feeling any contractions at midnight, but we (I say "we" because it was a joint effort/decision between me, Curt, & our nurse, Jenn) decided to go ahead and get the epidural anyway, in order to avoid what happened with Tucker's birth. (I waited too long with Tucker & was in transition while they were putting it in, and it didn't even end up working.) So the epidural went in at 12:30 am. The epidural was the most traumatic part of Tucker's birth, so I was literally TERRIFIED to get it this time. I had the shakes really bad both before & after getting it. I'd like to say it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was. I was so scared & couldn't relax. But it went in, it worked, and I survived. I was freaking out for about an hour after it went in. It was so weird to not feel my legs, and all I could think about were the horror stories of epidurals paralyzing people. I was convinced I was going to be paralyzed, and poor Curt did his best to help me relax. I hate the feeling of not being in control of my body, so I really did not enjoy the feeling of the epidural. At the end, however, it was very nice to have it in.

Anyway, I was finally able to relax & close my eyes. Right after the epidural went in, I was still at 3 cm, and then at 2:00 I was at a 4. I got my second dose of antibiotics at 2:00 & then they cranked up the pitocin. At 3:00 I was at a 9 & they called my doctor! (At midnight we had made predictions for when the baby would come & how much he would weigh. I guessed 3:25 am & 6 lbs 8 oz, Curt guessed 4:15 am & high 5 lbs, Jenn, our awesome nurse, guessed 4:30 am & 6 lbs even.)

At 3:15 I was fully dilated, and we prepped for delivery. Curt & I were both amazed at how quickly it had come! I pushed twice through two contractions (four pushes total), and he was here! 3:27 am, 6 lbs 6 oz, 19 inches long (just two minutes & two ounces off my prediction, just in case you were wondering). :)

I keep telling Curt I feel like I cheated through this delivery because I really didn't feel a thing, and it was so easy. The epidural really worked--almost too well. It's a good thing the doctor & nurse were there to tell me when to push because I felt nothing!

They placed Calvin right on my chest, and I got to help clean him off. It was the most amazing feeling to see & hold him for the first time--and I fell in love immediately. Such a sweet moment. It was so much more peaceful & intimate than when Tucker was born; there was only me, Curt, my doctor, my nurse, and a nurse for Calvin--whereas with Tucker there were at least 15 people in the room.

They checked Calvin out, and he was as healthy as could be--such a blessing & answer to prayers. I feel bad for comparing everything to Tucker & his birth, but that's all I've known, so it's hard not to compare. Having a healthy baby has been SO different this time around, and it really makes us appreciate it--having gone through everything with Tucker. Calvin is so sweet & so perfect. He has my heart.

I was able to nurse Calvin for the first time within the first half hour of his birth, and he latched on & sucked like a champ! He has been an awesome nurser so far (keeping our fingers crossed it stays that way!), and I couldn't be more grateful. What a blessing to have such a sweet, healthy baby.

I love both Tucker & Calvin so much. I feel like my love for Tucker was made stronger because of all that we had to sacrifice for him; I feel like my love for Calvin is made stronger because he gave me the best birth story & first week I could have ever asked for. He's just such a sweet boy.

More pictures & details about the first week coming as soon as I get another free minute...

(If any of you are interested in reading Tucker's super long birth story post, click HERE.)

Tucker's Birth Story - Holly's Perspective

WARNING: This is very, very long. (Sorry, I kind of got carried away!) I've been wanting to do this for awhile, but life has been a little crazy, and there have been many more important things to get done. Since today is the 2 month anniversary of Tucker's birth, however, I thought it would be fitting to post it today. Curt was so good to do hour-by-hour updates on the day Tucker was born, but I just wanted to write the whole story the way I remember it--just for the records. So feel free to skip this post; it's mainly for me.

The day before Tucker was born (a Thursday), we had a doctor's appointment at which we scheduled my induction for the next morning. My body had been progressing nicely on its own, and I really wanted to go into labor naturally without having to be induced. However, for convenience purposes (and the fact that I was overdue), we scheduled the induction anyway. It was my goal to put myself into labor that night, however, before the induction.

Curt had a big job he was finishing up in Salt Lake, so I had the afternoon to myself. The best thing I could think to do was walk--a lot. Naturally, the best place I could think of was BYU campus. So I drove to campus, parked, and proceeded to walk for about two hours straight. I tried to blend in and act like the other students just walking to class, but I'm pretty sure everyone could tell I was hugely pregnant and about to pop! As part of my walk I had the not-so-great idea of walking up 13 flights of stairs to the top of the SWKT (for those of you who are not familiar with BYU--this is the tallest building on campus). I'm actually kind of proud of myself for doing it--I only had to stop once to catch my breath, and I was 2 days overdue! The bad thing was that I had sore calves for the next few days, so not only did I have to recover from labor and having a baby, but I also had to recover from my walk (that apparently didn't do any good since I ended up being induced anyway).

That Thursday night both my mom and my in-laws flew into town. Curt was going to pick my mom up from the airport on his way home from work, but he ended up not finishing until late (11:00 pm!), so I went and picked my mom up instead. For some reason she was really worried about me making the 45 min. drive being 9 months pregnant, but it turned out just fine, and I only had to stop once to go to the bathroom. :) Since Curt didn't get home until late, my mom and I just hung out, and I tried to truly appreciate that it was my last night without a baby. When Curt got home, we went straight to bed, and I was actually able to sleep pretty well.

Friday morning, the day of Tucker's birth, we waited for a call from the hospital to tell us to come in. We were told they would probably call around 6:00 am and that we'd probably need to be there around 8:00 am. When we hadn't gotten the call by 7:30, I was a little worried and asked Curt if I should call to see if we were still on the schedule. Right then, though, the hospital called and asked us to be there in an hour. After taking the final belly shot, we arrived at the hospital about 8:45 am. We checked in, and they had me change into the lovely hospital gown right away. My nurse's name was Debbie, and she was really nice. She put in my IV as soon as I was changed, and she told me that most girls say the IV hurts worse than the epidural. If that was the case, then the rest of labor was going to be a cinch, right?! :)


They started me on pitocin at about 9:30, and I slowly started having contractions. I really couldn't feel the contractions very much, and it didn't really feel like I was "in labor." They kept increasing the number of drips so that I was at the max, and I still didn't feel much. Of course, this is all in hindsight. At the time, I thought I could feel the contractions, and I rated them about a 5 or 6 on the pain scale. (They always asked what level my pain was at--0 being nothing, and 10 being the most pain I've ever been in.) By noon I was dilated to a 5 and 90% effaced. (I had come to the hospital already dilated to a 4 and 85% effaced.)

Really, this part of labor was nothing. Curt and my mom were always in the room, and my in-laws and sister-in-law and niece came and went. I was happy and not in too much pain--it still didn't feel real. (I even read a chapter or two out of "Twilight"!) At about 1:00 or so, the nurse came in and said she had talked with my doctor, and she wasn't going to be able to come break my water until about 5:30 pm. My nurse was sad because she thought I could have had the baby sooner than that since I was progressing well. I had mentally prepared myself for a long labor, though, so I wasn't too disappointed. I asked my nurse what the chances were of my water breaking on my own at this point, and she said it was very unlikely. So I settled back and relaxed and prepared for a long night. Side note: my nurse kept asking me when I wanted the epidural. I knew I wanted an epidural, but I really wan't in very much pain, so I didn't think I needed it yet. She told me that once I requested the epidural, I could get it in about 15-20 minutes, so I figured I'd just wait until things started hurting before asking for it. (I wanted to feel at least SOME pain--just to say that I did!)

Anyway, so Curt went out to the lobby to get some lunch, and I was in the room with my mom, Curt's mom, Lisa (my sister-in-law), and Karli (Lisa's baby). We were just talking, and all of a sudden I felt (and heard) a pop--like a cork on a bottle--and then the "sudden gush of fluids" that people always described. My water had just broken on its own! It was the weirdest feeling! My mother-in-law ran out to get the nurse, and she came back to check me. At first the nurse didn't think it was really my water breaking because there wasn't very much fluid. I knew it was my water, though; what else could it be?! (And besides, my fluid levels had been a little low already.) I had someone run out and get Curt--I was sad he had missed it, because we had always wondered what it would be like if my water broke.

Anyway, so Curt and my father-in-law came back to my room...and that's when things really started picking up. Before, like I said, my contractions didn't hurt hardly at all, and I had to look at the monitor to make sure I was even having a contraction. As soon as my water broke, however, it was a different story. The pain was intense, and it hit hard! I closed my eyes and just concentrated on breathing and relaxing. It was obvious I was in a lot of pain now, so everyone left the room except Curt and my mom (and the nurse). With that first hard contraction, I decided it was time for the epidural, and the nurse called for the anesthesiologist.

At this point, I was in a LOT of pain. Thank goodness my cousin had called me just a few days before and taught me a few relaxation techniques, just in case. So I just held Curt's hand and focused on relaxing and breathing through the contractions. I'm not going to lie--it was the most pain I have ever been in, and it was hard! Curt and my mom were so good to keep reassuring me that I was doing a good job. I focused on their voices and on Curt's hand. Unlike before, I could definitely tell when a contraction was coming, and at what point it would start to let up. Looking back, even though it was extremely painful, it was such an amazing thing to experience. The human body is amazing!

So while I'm suffering through the contractions, patiently (!!!) waiting for the epidural, the only thing I could think was, "how can anyone possibly do this naturally?!!!" The contractions hurt SO SO bad, and I thought I was just a wimp. What I didn't know at the time, however, was that I was hitting transition--the most painful part of labor when the contractions are literally on top of each other, and there's no real break in between. It was at this point that the anesthesiologist finally showed up and started giving me the epidural. I don't know why it took so long, but it had been 45 minutes since I had requested the epidural (and the nurse had been telling me for about 20 minutes that he would be there any second and that I didn't have very many contractions to go before I was out of pain.)

Anyway, so no one had really realized I was in transition, and it made it extremely hard for the anesthesiologist to get the epidural in (since he tried to do it in between contractions, except there really wasn't ever a break in between!). I was trying to still relax at this point, but it was so hard. I was in so much pain, and I had to lean over and not move (and try to listen to what he was saying and follow his instructions) while he was putting in the epidural. This was the point where I wasn't sure if I could make it any longer and I felt like I couldn't breathe because the pain was so intense. Finally he finished, and I had a little bit of relief, but not as much as I had expected. As soon as they laid me back down, I felt extreme pressure and the urge to "bear down"--just like they tell you. I still had my eyes closed, but I just kept saying, "I feel lots of pressure. I feel like I need to push." The nurse checked me and she said, "You're feeling pressure because you're complete!" (meaning, I was fully dilated and 100% effaced)

Everything became a blur for me at this point. I had my eyes closed the entire time, but all of a sudden I heard a lot of commotion around me, and people were positioning me to push. Apparently, Tucker's heart rate had dropped significantly, (and I was ready to push), so the nurse pressed the "emergency" red button, and a ton of people came into the room. I remember thinking, "This is it? Really? I'm getting ready to have this baby? How did it happen so fast?" I was so confused. I kept telling them about the pressure, so if I remember right, they had me push for a few minutes, and then they laid me on my side so that we could wait for my doctor to get there. A few minutes later my doctor rushed into the room, and she jokingly asked what I was doing--she had expected me to have a much longer labor.

I became more alert then, and more aware of what was going on around me. I still couldn't believe it was time to push already! My mind was in a million different places, and I remember asking my doctor how fast she had to drive to get here on time, and I remember realizing then that there were quite a few people in the room and I was opened up for everyone to see! (Sorry if that's too much information...!) I didn't really care, though. All I cared about was pushing--I just had to push. (Thinking back now, it's amazing that you just naturally have those urges.) So my doctor scrubbed in and then had me start pushing. We would do three sets of counting down from ten, and then she'd let me rest. Curt was holding my hand on the left, and my mom was on the right, and then Curt's mom was there somewhere too. It was their voices, telling me what a good job I was doing, that kept me going.

After the first set of three pushes, my doctor told me that she was going to use a vacuum to help get him out more quickly, since they were worried about his heart rate being so low. It seems like there were only two more sets of pushing after that, and he was out! Once again, I had my eyes closed, but I knew when he was out because my belly just dropped--it was the weirdest sensation! (And Curt said, "Your belly is gone!")

So Tucker Rex Smith was born on Friday, September 19, 2008 at 3:25 pm (about an hour-and-a-half after my water broke!). He weighed 7 lbs 5 oz, was 20 inches long, and he was the cutest baby I had every seen!


I can't describe in words the feelings I felt when the doctor held him up and I heard him cry. And then the flood of emotions when Curt leaned down and kissed me, tears streaming down his face. It was the most amazing experience, and I wish I could relive that moment again.

And then the focus turned to Tucker. They told us they needed to take him to the nursery to try to stabilize his breathing. (His respiratory rate was really really high.) They let Curt carry Tucker over to me so that I could see him, and I half-held him for about 30 seconds before they took him away. The next time I saw him was two hours later in the nursery when they were trying to put in an IV, and I had to leave because it was making me cry. The next time I saw him after that was about seven hours later, when he was all settled in the NICU. It was really hard, and I cried a lot that night. But that's a whole different story.


Looking back on the whole birth process, I am just amazed. I was there, and I was the one doing everything, but I still can't believe it. The body is so amazing! Even though trillions (or whatever big number) of women throughout time have given birth, I still feel like a champ for doing it. I definitely feel like it's my biggest accomplishment in life! Whenever I feel down, all I have to do is look at Tucker and remember that I grew him inside of me and then birthed him--and then I feel amazing! I'm so grateful to be a mom, and I'm so grateful for Tucker in my life. Thanks to those of you who are still reading--kudos to you for reading to the end! :)